Letters to the Editor
Renegade Iconoclast
Published Letters: 660 Editor's Choice: 11
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I think we'll hit 1000 this time. Alternate universes.
[Read the article: Why Hillary Clinton should be winning]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The Hillary folks like to fantasize about stuff, so I thought I'd write 'em a little story. It's all fictional.
Beauty and the Beast
Act 1)
Once upon a time lived a maiden fair, in a woods in a small forgotten village far far away. Such was her beauty that bluebirds would refuse to sing until she made the rounds in her gardens, plucking blueberries for some of the hungry village children (while chastising them for listening to lewd music or burning the village's standard). Her name was Millary. People called her Millie.
One day a hulking black dragon came to menace the village. It demanded one of the village's daughters as a tribute. As a warning, it burned Millie's parents' peach orchard to the ground and stamped out the flame.
30 feet high it could stand, the dragon, its scales new, sharp, and audible when they rubbed themselves or other things, making his every movement have the vague sound of ripping the ground he stood on, and his tail a deadly weapon.
He could also bring his head way down to earth and speak in a calm rational tone about why he wanted to steal one of the village's daughters, but the villagers all knew that his logic and arguments were all a trick. His head was near as large as a house. His voice boomed and shook the surroundings.
"I will return in twelve days. Bring me one of your daughters at that time or I will destroy all that you know."
Act 2)
The village met in a contentious fight to decide which daughter to give to the black dragon. Eventually it was decided that the fairest way would be to choose a name by lottery. Millie's parents would endure another loss, as if by fate, as her name was drawn in the lottery. They pleaded with the magistrate, but it had been decided, hers was the only name chosen, and she would be the dragon's dinner.
They tied her up on the appointed day to a large wooden pole. The dragon, true to his twisted word, arrived at exactly 12 days after he had predicted he would.
"Untie her," the dragon solemnly and firmly intoned. The villagers did as he requested. The dragon scooped her up and flew away, quickly becoming a dot on the horizon. The village wept, for everyone had so loved Millie.
Meanwhile, the black dragon carried Millie far, far up above the clouds to its cave, high in the mountains, above and aloof from all of the common people. Strangely to Millie, the creature had kept her alive on the trip, and she saw wondrous things on the ground, but she couldn't bring herself to enjoy the trip to her certain doom. She took out a hairpin to try and poke at the creature, to get it to drop her, and end the misery with a fall to the forest. She did not succeed in hurting it, and the dragon instead tightened its grip on her in response.
They arrived at the dragon's cave, which was wide enough for the beast to fly into without stopping, or even slowing down, and he did, swerving and clawing like a bat to end in a large, well-lit chamber, furnished with a large, velvet pillow, which the dragon deposited Millie on presently.
Tune in later for the end of Act II and Act III.
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Sorry Joan
[Read the article: Thank you, Rush Limbaugh!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'll call male politicians fucking whores too, if that is what they are. Trent Lott and Tom Delay, for instance, are fucking whores.
Bribery is not a nice thing. There's no pretty way to describe it. Fucking whore is as good as anything else.