Letters to the Editor

• Father's last name

  [Read the article: Do the kids get mom's name, or dad's? How about alternating]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  Your name isn't your father's last name. It's *your* last name.

  Saying that a woman who gives her child her name is just giving her father's name is kind of like saying that a man who gives his child his name is just giving his father's name. I mean, he got it from his dad, right? Except his dad got it from his dad! And so on, back umpteen generations, so in fact they are handing out the name of some guy from the 16th century or something.

  Obviously this is absurd. So... your name is your name. It doesn't "belong" to a man unless you are a man. It belongs to you, whoever you are. And if you pass it on to your kids, you are giving them your name, because whether you got it from your mother or father, the name you were born with is your name.

  Personally, I made the decision on the basis of my husband having a much cooler last name than me. I keep my name because it's my name, but my kids get his name because his name will get them ahead in life more than my name will. Had I had a cooler name than him, I would definitely have insisted on my name. I mean, I'm the one who risks my life and health, right? The name should be mine if I want it to be, since obviously I've invested more physically. But it is irritating, because people who only know me as my kids' mother call me Mrs. MyHusband'sName because they only actually know my kids' last name. (Personally I think kids have the solution to this problem. All my kids' friends call me Kidsname's Mom. It makes a lot more sense to try to define two parents in relation to a child than to define a woman in relation to a man, in today's day and age.)

  Permalink Friday, January 13, 2006 08:12 PM