Letters to the Editor

• The truth about sex and feminism

  [Read the article: "Meet the Dinner Whores"]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  In patriarchal societies where women do not control who they are allowed to have sex with, where sex only occurs after marriage and where marriage is arranged by the woman's parents, not the woman herself, marriage is the exclusive province of men who have resources. If you are young, handsome and healthy, but you don't yet have a good job or a fat bank account and you weren't born with a rich daddy, you are not getting laid. Period. Maybe you could find a prostitute, but chances are, she has a disease... or else the society is so repressive and patriarchal that women are routinely beheaded for being prostitutes, which makes it hard for you to find one. Mom and Dad don't care if Darling Daughter is hot for the guy she marries, they just care that he can take good financial care of her. Many of these societies are polygamous, so the rich men soak up *all* the women. In monogamous societies, the "best" women -- ie, the most beautiful, the most intelligent and accomplished, or the richest -- go to the "best" men, as defined by being the richest and having the highest status. Poor men or young men are usually left with the less desirable women.

  In societies where women control their own sexuality, some women still choose to have sex with men who have money and status, despite these men no longer being young and handsome. So rich old guys *still* can get some. However, because women are just as susceptible to Teh Sexay as men are, hot young guys with no money get girls, including very desirable attractive girls, because they are hot. And sweet, gentle, loving men can get women (although guys who bitch about how "nice" they are and how women don't want "nice" guys are generally either doormats or hostile, misogynistic passive-aggressors, not "nice" at all -- I'm talking about sweet, loving, gentle men who have self confidence and genuinely love women.) So hot, sexy women are no longer the sole province of rich men; young men who aren't well-established, don't have rich families and aren't yet raking in the dough, are much more likely to get married than in extremely patriarchal polygamous societies, more likely to win the woman they really want than in extremely patriarchal monogamous societies, and more likely to get lots of sex without having to marry for it *or* pay more than the occasional dinner date.

  Rather than being the bane of male existence that certain frequent bitter male posters here think it is, feminism is the greatest boon to men's sex lives that there ever was. Sure, you no longer have the right to beat your wife or shoot her for cheating on you, but on the other hand, if you're not rich you actually have a chance at a girl. Mind you, if you're ugly and poor, you still don't have a chance, but the fact is, if you weren't rich you never did. *No* society has ever guaranteed sex to men who are unattractive, poor, of low status, without great future prospects, and/or with unpleasant personalities. Well, except for societies where you can rape a woman in order to blackmail her parents into letting you marry her at a discount, but given that one of the guys I know of who did this got shot by the woman he raped, it seems risky.

  Under feminism, women are permitted to choose their own men on the basis of many, many factors, and while the factors of wealth and power never went away, now the factors of handsomeness, high future potential, good sense of humor, and pleasant personality have been added, thus vastly increasing the pool of men who can get the women they want. If you're not in that pool, that's your fault, not feminism's. You weren't getting laid if you belonged to a patriarchal society and you weren't rich or high status, either.

  Modern feminism exists because the Pill liberated women from the need to arrange their whole lives around reproduction. The sexual revolution occurred because women want sex almost as much as men do, and once liberated from the fear that they will get pregnant, will have a lot more sex with a lot less commitment and a lot more enthusiasm than they used to have. So men should be deeply thankful for feminism. You can improve your personality and your looks to attract women more easily than you can become rich and powerful.

  Permalink Friday, January 13, 2006 12:22 PM