Patrick I disagree with you. I think EVERYONE should be sedated while flying these days. Its the only way to fly ;-)

I think most of the trouble with boarding especially, is that people don't listen. I call it "passenger mode". Either that or they don't think what is being announced applies to them.

I've found that the average passenger doesn't realize (or care) that there's a reason why airlines do things a certain way. Watch sometime. They'll announce those that are sitting in the rear to board, and people who are sitting in the front start getting on (and the staff usually letting them do so), blocking the aisle(s) for those who are supposed to be getting on while they putz around putting their bags away, taking off their coats, finding their magazines etc. Getting out of the aisle and letting others by would never seem to cross their mind.

Now if everyone did what they were told things would go much smoother. I was once taking a JAL 747 from Osaka to Tokyo. 568 passengers. At 20 minutes to departure we still had not started boarding. I went and asked how long the delay would be - as I naturally assumed we wouldn't be taking off on time - my old airline always started boarding 30 to 45 minutes prior to departure. "No delay, we'll be boarding in 5 minutes". Impossible, I thought.

568 passengers got on board in about 10 minutes, and we left on time. People had carry on, just like here. Granted, there wasn't the same amount of oversized bags as you see creeping on to North American flights.

With regards to the airline enforcing the carry-on rules, there seems to be a feeling that the check-in, security, and gate people should be enforcing the rules, and i think the check-in, security and gate people think the Flight Attendants should be doing so. The sooner in the process they're nabbed the better. At destinations with stairs fwd and aft, we used to assign 2 FA's to try snagging oversize bags before passengers got on board. People could never understand why we couldn't just break the rules just this once for them. (and the 200 people behind them also felt the same way) It always made boarding all that much longer as arguments ensued, tempers flared and ultimately - bags checked and/or delays taken.

How about headphones and sounds systems that actually work?

I have never been able to listen to any inflight program without the use of noise reducing headphones. I can't hear anything with the cheap-ass headphones the airlines give out.

I'd mention increasing seat pitch but thats never going to happen.

Airlines actually hiring people to work as Flight Attendants that a: have experience and still want to do the job,

and b: actually WANT to do customer service-type work, instead of hiring people that still think the job is "breakfast in France, dinner in New York" that the company can "mold" into the non-questioning automatons they want that they can use and abuse.

Judging by the comments here about Flight Attendants mocking passengers on board, it would seem that the "personality tests" that they seem to rely on (or claim to rely on) so heavily in the recruitment process aren't exactly working.

This weeks column brought back some great memories of my time in Africa doing subcontract work for UTA in the late 80's. Mostly Western Africa. Flying around there was really different from North America back then. Never ran into runways with lava on them though.

I once had an evacuation due to a tire fire, where stairs were being used at the exits and the ground personnel were sending passengers back UP the stairs for their passports.

There was one airport, I can't remember where- where the locals used the runway as a method of getting from one place to another. No fences to speak of. When a plane was arriving or departing, they simply got off and walked beside the runway. Imagine landing and seeing people walking at the edge of the runway with shopping, carrying babies, children tagging along behind.

There was little preventing anyone from either going through luggage on the tarmac, or simply walking off with your bag either. People would constantly be asking us for drinks and other goodies from the tarmac as we were parked. A very thin security force would shoo them away, but they never stayed away for long.

I'll spare you the details about bug infested food or latex gloves being issued so that cabin crew could scoop poop left by passengers who didn't know how to use a western toilet because they'd never seen an airplane before, much less get on one and be confronted by something with blue water.

We once deadheaded from Abidjan to Conakry in a small prop job. Our inflight safety demonstration was done by the co-pilot as he yelled back into the cabin through a doorless cockpit "we're leaving so everyone fasten your seat belt!".

What amazed me is that my own company always managed to screw up. We'd arrive somewhere in Europe without hotel or onward deadhead reservations, or arrangements for payment for hotels/food/fuel having been made, or be left stranded or forgotten entirely somewhere and being told by crew scheduling "find your own way home" (I kid you not)

UTA however, managed, in deepest Africa, to get us from the airport to the hotel, sometimes via a bus, a boat, and then another bus, and once involving a helicopter - all without a hitch or delay. Which was greatly appreciated by those of us that were a little rattled being dropped off in the middle of nowhere wearing our polyester finest, next to a rickety dock on some African river and the bus driver leaving saying "someone'll be along shortly".