Unfortunately, Ann Coulter can only see things through her own narrow viewpoint, so as a shameless and master manipulator of the media for her own personal gain (don't tell me that this is not going to push her book sales through the roof!) she assumes that everyone else acts in the same regard.

How sad.

Get a brazillian or become the lonely old cat lady? Have we all become so desperate and superficial that we base our success/failure in love and relationships on PUBIC HAIR?

The decision to shave/wax or not to shave/wax should be a personal choice, not to appease a lover or because it's the "in" thing to do. Some people prefer smooth, some people don't -- do we switch our appearance each time we meet someone new because THEY prefer blondes or like us better in short skirts?

And if there's a problem in a relationship, trust me, it ain't about the pubic hair.

Having a close-knit family is a wonderful thing, but emotional dependence is another thing entirely. Calling to wish each other goodnight is very sweet -- but getting bent out of shape if someone's not there and having to find out where everyone is before they can all go to bed? Not wanting to hurt someone's feelings is normal -- but falling apart because you're afraid to disagree with your mother? Sheesh.

Something's not quite right here. Healthy family relationships allow for normal emotional separation as much as closeness, and allow individuals to think and act on their own without having to check up on them; at the same time, people who've been able to make a healthy break still have close relationships but don't have to second-guess themselves or be dependent on what other people think or do. This woman's family has WAY too much of an emotional hold on her -- she is a child, not a free-thinking adult.

Amy

I agree with the most recent poster here and several others (apologies, I haven't been able to read through all the posts) that I think Cary's advice is a somewhat irresponsible and would he give the same advice if the LW was not in a gay relationship. I'm straight myself, but I don't see any difference -- from all accounts, it sounds like he and his boyfriend have been in a committed, monogomous relationship, and I would feel just as troubled if I was in a committed relationship with a partner who was then talking about wanting to try a more open arrangement. I heard real fear in the LW's words and I don't feel he was given a response that addresses his concerns.

Amy

When it comes to determining what type of person would make a better friend, it's the projections and expectations we have within ourselves that limits us. As long as we continue to see certain groups of people as ONLY sex partners or ONLY being a certain type of friend, it takes away from seeing people as individuals who may have something to give just as themselves.

That's not denying that in our western culture it's more challenging for straight men to have intimate non-sexual friendships with men or women, gay or straight. Being a straight women, I get tired of all the straight men who are looking for sex; not necessarily looking just for a good time, but because this is the only way to gain the only intimacy that's allowable. It frustrates me how this attitude seems to be so ingrained in our culture; I see it in a lot of my straight female friends, too, who, even though they may have close friends, still feel they're not complete unless they have a boyfriend or husband.

I hope, though, that the more we can see that we have other avenues to find intimacy, perhaps we will be less obsessed with finding "the one" and less inclined to define people by stereotypes.

Amy