http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/play.shtml?mea=239693

"I just pooped in my pants."

Argue all you want about whether Matt and Trey are Libertarians, Greens, assholes, millionaires. They make me laugh, they make me think, they make me uncomfortable. I believe they are the premiere satirists of our time.

South Park took on the deteriorating Fourth Estate in "Britney's New Look" earlier this season, in which CNN interrupted a Democratic Presidential Debate because ...BREAKING NEWS!! Britney had peed on a ladybug while camping. Britney's "new look" was that, later in the episode, she'd blown off most of her head in a suicide attempt she'd survived, and the media didn't notice. Didn't notice she HAD NO HEAD. They were too busy pointing out her cameltoe and a boob-job scar, and trash-talking her "live" MTV performance. The cable "news" wheel just kept on a-turning.

I've never seen a more eviscerating commentary on the media's mania for celebrity.

Follow this with this week's episode in which TV news couldn't report any news because the internet was down. (HEL-LO......)

Keep applying that cluestick, guys.

Reality check time.

Cool your jets. Hiring is a sometimes lengthy process. Three weeks is a blink in corporate time. Don't write off that job just because you haven't heard from the editor in three weeks. There may be 30 applicants for the job, 24 of whom get informational phone/screening interviews, 8 of whom get in-person interviews, 3 of whom get to interview with multiple people. This process can take weeks to months. In addition to this, this editor probably has other job responsibilities they must deal with simultaneously.

You're in a hurry; they're not. Guess what? They're in control of the timeline. So use the time to write. And to apply for other jobs.

...in which CNN cuts into a Democratic Debate with "Breaking News - Britney Watch!" that Britney Spears peed on a ladybug when camping? And disregards her blown off head (after she tries to commit suicide) to focus on her boobjob scar?

Required viewing.

"If CNN and the New York Times are covering gossip like it's politics, perhaps it's not so crazy for the weeklies to cover politics like it's gossip -"

THIS.

The collective MSM emphatically jumped the shark when they 'covered' the death of Anna Nicole Smith with the same gusto as they should have covered the death of Benazir Bhutto. Unfortunately that gusto is not at all journalistic or investigative in nature...it is salacious, and don't they dare think for a minute that we don't see their lips smacking as they reach for the profits with their grubby fingers.

What the MSM doesn't realize is that, in their blatant chase for eyeballs and profits, they've pissed in their own pool. They have lost all credibility, and frankly I don't know what can reverse it. Apparently watching the Current Administration eviscerate the Constitution on a weekly basis isn't enough incentive. But hey, thanks to crack "investigative" journalism by ABC News, I now know that Hillary Clinton was home the day Bill and Monica were staining her blue Gap dress.

Hey, thanks, ABC, for the advocacy, the nuance, the deft framing of significant political issues. And? BITE ME.

We also consulted with Nagelschneider about our bitey cat. The woman is a miracle worker, no joke. My hands, wrists, ankles and calves were so shredded by bites and scratches when our cat was younger that I half-joked with people that, no, really, I wasn't a cutter.

Our consult with her went very much like the author's - prompt phone contact, businesslike conversation. She recommended a similar sequence - withdraw physical touch for a week, slowly re-engage with petting for short periods of time (like, 10 seconds)- the goal being withdrawing the petting BEFORE he bit. Allow him to be successful. She also felt one of the cat's possible issues might be that, because he was abandoned at a couple days old, he never learned the appropriate level of teeth/claw pressure to use when playing from a momma cat or littermates. We also used Da Bird so he could "kill," ("completing prey cycles" in Nagelschneider's parlance) and using cans of coins as negative reinforcement worked well.

One month later, following Nagelschneider's instructions, he was vastly improved. A year later, while we still keep coin cans at strategic locations around the house for occasional overexuberance, life with our cat has changed greatly. No more flying headshots in the middle of the night. No more bloody scratches to explain to co-workers. No more saying, "You little f*cker." No more keeping the cat closeted away when we have guests at our home.

Included in her fee (I think it was $130 in 2006) is a month of email follow-up - initiated by her. You can consult with her by phone; you don't have to go to her office. I can't recommend her highly enough. I'm not sure if I've seen her URL anywhere yet: http://www.thecatbehaviorclinic.com/.

...do me a favor and check it. PLEASE.

It never fails that I come away from a flight with bruises. I've had heavy suitcases graze my head because the person (usually a smaller woman) isn't strong enough to manage the weight of her suitcase. I've been elbowed in the nose, cheekbone and chin because people aren't at all aware of their surroundings as they get things down from the overhead bins - they're in a hurry, and so fuck everyone else.

I've been smucked in the elbow hard enough by the drink service trolley that I've gone for x-rays.

It doesn't help that almost everyone you encounter during the adventure acts like they hate their jobs, they hate customers, and hate humanity. Flying brings out the worst in everyone.