Letters to the Editor
Published Letters: 12 Editor's Choice: 2
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Where are the men?
[Read the article: Dangerous liaisons]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Men may experience some violence at the hands of their girlfriends and boyfriends, but the fact is that men are the vast majority of abusers. So why do these programs only talk to girls? Why do we put the burden of preventing and escaping violent relationships on the victims? Where are the programs going to young boys and telling them that no, it's not cool to call your girlfriend a bitch or a ho and no, pimping is not something to aspire to and no, you do not have the right to use your size to intimidate your girlfriend, etc.
We will never stop the cycle of abuse unless we stop creating and excusing abusers. Stop treating women like property or ornaments in popular culture. Stop saying it's okay for little boys to pull little girls' hair in the playground. And stop putting all the responsibility for preventing abuse on the people who are its victims: women.
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Poor, poor men. I really pity the dears.
[Read the article: Bringing up the boys]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It's sad, really. After years of discrimination at the hands of power-hungry feminists, men only make 76% of what women do on average, men live in fear of their girlfriends beating them and strangers on the street raping them, and men face heavy social pressure to marry, change their names, and stay at home raising the kids. When these beleaguered househusbands try to break free and get fulfilling jobs, the media bombards them with stories on the futility of men trying to "have it all". TIME magazine runs a cover on whether or not men in the workplace are being selfish and destroying their children's futures. When men impregnate their partners, states are considering making it a felony for a man to leave her without her permission until the child is at the age of majority.
Little boys have dollies hoisted on them that say such discouraging things as "Math is hard!" and "I'd rather go shopping!" The successful and admired men in our popular culture are either Catholic monks who live in poverty in India or attractive young princes who are loved for marrying the Queen to be and providing her with daughters and then tragically dying after being tragically left by his powerful spouse. Whereas in contrast there is no shortage of diverse female role models in every field: science, literature, politics, humanitarianism, computers, etc.
With all that is stacked against men these days, we need an affirmative action plan now, yesterday. We can't let this crisis go unabated.
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It's OK to not like Porn
[Read the article: Porn in theory, porn in practice]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Watching porn is watching another person engage in sexual activity for your sexual gratification. In most porn, an actual, real live human being is engaging in real sexual activity for your gratification.
I don't see any reason why this shouldn't make a partner uncomfortable.
Most of us would be uncomfortable if our partners drilled holes in their neighbors walls to watch them have sex. We would probably also be uncomfortable if the neighbors invited our partners over to watch them have sex. Or if our partners decided to buy some pictures of our neighbors engaging in sexual activities. Why is it OK to not like our partners to get off on watching the neighbors but we can't object to our partners looking at porn? What's the difference?
Is it that we've convinced ourselves that the actors in porn aren't real people, therefore what our partners are doing aren't real? Oh, but they are real people. They are as real as your neighbors. They are real, live people doing sex acts for money and our partners are their clients.
That sure as hell makes me uncomfortable and I feel no shame in that whatsoever.