A few years ago, my friend was shot and killed at work by her abusive ex-boyfriend, who then killed himself. There hasn't been a day where I haven't thought of how I might have stopped it; you definitely get acute hindsight after experiencing something like that.

Reading what you had to say about other people's smugness really struck a chord with me. I get that different people mourn in different ways, but I've felt that the people around me have had that same smugness. It's very, very hard to listen to what other people have to say about the whole event since it occurred. I can't help but think that many of the other people involved have feigned sincerity without really doing a damn thing to honor her memory in any kind of tangible way.

Now, I can't begin to understand what it would be like to lose my father like that, nor can I imagine what it would be like to have to face my friend's killer over and over again. I can't even guess how I would start to recover if I were put in your position. But I do know what saved me. I've channeled my energy and pain and anger into learning about the problem of domestic violence, and I've devoted my time to a local DV organization for the past two years. I can't bring back my friend, but I'm making a difference by helping to make sure that someone else isn't killed under the same circumstances. Feeling like I am doing something constructive has made all the difference in the world. In the process, I've also connected with people that have devoted their time and energy to the same problem, all of whom have been a remarkable source of support when I've been dealing with my own issues.

So... good luck. I hope that you find what you need.

Which is the most green Christmas present? If you picked *none* of these, you're absolutely correct.

It's a pretty misguided idea to think that *more* consumption will actually help the environment, and most of these just seem like greenwashing to sooth guilty consciences instead of actual techniques to solve environmental problems. For example, even recycled paper requires energy to produce, ship, and dispose, no matter how hip and glamorous the end result is. And just because something is made out of organic hemp and cotton doesn't mean that it has no impact on natural resources.

Why don't we actually try looking to vintage stores or thrift shops for presents? Donate your time and money to worthwhile causes? Build a composter? True environmentalism requires real change, not just superficial fixes.

I could play with Google Trends for hours. (And have!)

Look, for example, at the fact that people search for "sex" on weekends:

http://www.google.com/trends?q=sex&ctab=0&geo=all&date=2006-12&sort=0

Rum and whiskey are popular for Christmas, but for New Year's, it's all about the vodka and tequila...

http://www.google.com/trends?q=rum%2C+tequila%2C+vodka%2C+gin%2C+whiskey&ctab=0&geo=all&date=2006&sort=0

There's been a slow decline in inquiries about universities...

http://www.google.com/trends?q=university+of+washington%2C+university+of+california%2C+university+of+michigan&ctab=0&geo=all&date=all&sort=0

But interest in green buildings has increased:

http://www.google.com/trends?q=LEED%2C+green+building&ctab=0&geo=all&date=all&sort=0

...no one cares that retail campaigning is cheaper in Iowa and New Hampshire, allowing for a competitive nominating process less dependent on big-market media buys.

Defending this party nomination system simply because the candidates won't need to buy TV spots in major urban markets is, for a lack of a better term, idiotic. This system is undemocratic, pure and simple, and as long as New Hampshire and Iowa have a stranglehold on the process, we can't claim that this primary system adequately reflects the will of the people.

And yes, as many of the commenters have said before me, overpopulation is far worse of an environmental issue than whether we enjoy a hamburger on occasion.