Letters to the Editor
Published Letters: 151 Editor's Choice: 9
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I think racism is usually part of a larger problem
[Read the article: Our new friend is a racist -- should we dump him?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Is it really possible to be a person who has no major personality flaws aside from thinking blacks are inferior? To me it seems pretty naive to label someone as "a really great person apart from all the racism." The mechanisms in this person's mind that allow him to openly defend racist beliefs do not exist in a vacuum. So there's that point to consider.
But there's also this other point: Being judged by the company you keep is one of the oldest maxims in the book. You are an open-minded liberal whose beliefs and viewpoints are clearly very dear to you. If you are hoping to make friends with others like you, you might want to think about what their reaction would be to finding out you had a racist friend (or what your own reaction would be to finding out that someone you were becoming close to had such a person in their life).
Clearly there are times in our lives when we have to put up with being around people whose attitudes and opinions we find objectionable. Families, co-workers, the guy sitting behind you on the plane, and so forth. But nothing requires us to put up with that from our friends. This guy doesn't make any apologies for his racism and it doesn't sound like you're going to change his mind any time soon. More to the point, it doesn't sound like you're getting over the issue any time soon, either. Do you want to do the work of maintaining a friendship that causes you guilt and doubt? Certainly many people do this all the time, but not all of them realize it's a choice.
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@Danny Sleator
[Read the article: Peace is at hand in the pointless DVD war]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Blu-Ray has slightly greater storage capacity, and the two formats use different video compression technology... but in practice most people have concluded that movies on both types of disc look and sound pretty much identical. Each camp has had its share of malfunctioning players/discs and each has different "special features" capacities that they've loudly trumpeted. So, to me (and many others) the debate over technological merits was irrelevant, even though it spawned a ton of vitriolic arguments between defenders of the respective formats.
The splintering of movie studios into three factions (Blu-Ray only, HD-DVD only, and neutral) was the biggest problem (and one which could easily have killed the future of HD home video, had it gone on much longer). And now, at long last, the end appears to be in sight.
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Pet peeve
[Read the article: "Definitely, Maybe"]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"SSRI inhibitor" is just as bad as "ATM machine."
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I won't deny that I'm worried.
[Read the article: V-DVD Day: Sony's Blu-ray wins the format war]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Clearly the demise of HD-DVD will is a major boon for Blu-Ray supporters, as Universal and Paramount will be forced to release their own Blu-Rays soon or be left behind in the marketplace; but the end of the format war raises more existential questions about the viability of hi-def media in general. What if the majority of the consumer public rejects HDM? What if they're just fine with DVD and don't notice enough of a difference to warrant upgrading?
Right now the studios are very clearly hedging their bets -- certainly they're giddy at the prospect of a brand-new revenue stream, but for the most part the only Blu-Ray discs they've been putting out are new releases. Older titles, including those that could really benefit from remastering, have generally been left behind and there's no telling when (or if) they'll appear on Blu-Ray.
The reason DVD was such a huge success, arguably, was because it expertly served three masters: the general public, the tech mavens, and the cinephiles. So far, Blu-Ray is mostly working on the first two. Every new Adam Sandler or Martin Lawrence movie hits the shelves in hi-def, and you see plenty of people in A/V forums brimming about how great the picture on "Crank" looks, but if you're anxious for the opportunity to see every ounce of detail in a Hitchcock or Kurasawa movie, then the wait may be a long one. Right now, the tech geek in me is thrilled enough right now with my modest collection of mostly-recent Blu-Ray movies; but the movie buff still wants to see Michael Corleone give Fredo the kiss of death in the highest possible resolution. I know that under the best of circumstances, that level of nirvana is probably years away; but if Blu-Ray ends up being a semi-niche format that some of the studios dump their new releases in to pick up a few extra bucks, then I'm really going to be out of luck. And darn it, I've fallen in love with crystal-clear HD movies (not the broadcast TV kind with digital noise and frequent pixelation).
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Forget just giving you a key. He should be asking you to move in.
[Read the article: My boyfriend won't give me his apartment key]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]And if he's not ready for that, then he should be perfectly willing to put up with the situation of you living exclusively out of your own apartment.
He doesn't want more closeness with you. He just wants convenience. He knows giving you a key (or inviting you to move in) increases his commitment to you; that's why he won't do it.
Did he really say "That's okay, we just won't see each other as often"? I mean, come on, what does that tell you? Like Cary says, if he can get anything he wants by threatening to deprive you of seeing him (and furthermore, if that arrangement wouldn't bother him in the least), then the things that are broken here cannot be fixed with a key. Or even a key and flowers and a teddy bear.
You guys need to have a serious talk about what each of you wants from the relationship. I think you might find that they don't match up very well.