All Yankee fans ever did was whine and complain about what an evil headhunter Roger Clemens was. He was the scum of the earth. Until he put on pinstripes, then suddenly he was their pal Rog... and they were SHOCKED AND APPALLED that anyone should accuse him of throwing at someone's head, or hurling the business end of a broken bat at someone. Why, the ball just got away from him! Why, he was confused and thought that jagged half a bat was the ball, that's why he whipped it to first!

Maybe it will take a dramatic, tearful retirement tour and the acceptance of a free Hummer before turning around and unretiring two months later but not with the Giants before the fans become disgruntled with Barry. (You think that particular lightbulb would have appeared above the Yankee fans' collective head by now, but hey...)

I can't tell you how much of my adult life has been spent in this state.

But in addition to the other helpful hints offered here, one that really works in relation to getting your apartment together is to imagine that you will unexpectedly die in your sleep tonight. Look around you. Is this how you want to be found? Is this what you want your family to see when they come to sift through your personal effects and finalize your affairs? Is this how you want to be remembered?

Good luck. You are certainly not alone.

Therapy and medication are not the answer to everything. Why do you automatically assume the LW cannot handle this himself, like so many of us have? Sometimes we simply need direction, suggestions and motivation. Not drugs and expensive weekly conversations with a stranger. Every once in a while, believe it or not, people do find their own way.

Dear John,

If you ponied up a few measly bucks for the privilege of enjoying the fine journalism on this site, you wouldn't see any banners at all. Paying for Salon is worth it for so many reasons. ;-)

I have worked with many Olgas in my time. And the only way out is to quit. Olgas are like noisy neighbors. The landlord will never, ever do anything about it and the more you complain, the more YOU become "the problem." All you can do is move.

The Olgas of the world always win. Save yourself the misery of dreading going in to work every day. Forget about how "unfair" it all is, why should you be the one to leave when you're not doing anything wrong, etc. etc. Find a new job, because trust me... she ain't going anywhere.

But there's one big difference here--the woman in question is NOT in the past.

I used to have a partner who refused to throw away love letters and photos of his previous girlfriend. Yet supposedly it was my "inability to put the past in the past" that was our problem. MY inability?! I'd come home to messages from her on the answering machine, then have to deal with her pictures and photos, plus he joined a band she was in. Yet "I" was the one who was "obsessed" with "the past." She was hardly in the past. She was in my face.

So how can you be expected to put the past behind you when it's always right there in the present? HE is the one fixated on the past. HE can't put his past love affairs behind him. HE is the one that has kept that relationship alive, not you. It's very easy to put a past relationship behind you if you DO NOT want the person in your life anymore. You throw away their pictures and letters. You don't read/answer their emails or return their calls. In short, you put them IN THE PAST.

Your husband knows perfectly well what this woman is up to. Men always play dumb about this sort of thing (You: "She was all over you!" Him: "You're crazy, she was just being friendly." Him, to his best pal: "Dude, she was all over me. What should I do?") because they figure it's easier than arguing about it. The one thing that is clear here is that she wants to stay in his life, and he wants her there. What he needs to be straight with you about is WHY.

Part of being married is compromise and sacrifice for the sake of your partner's feelings. If someone or something hurts your partner--and it's someone or something you could live without--that someone is put straight, or that something goes. If he can't bring himself to say goodbye to this woman, I agree that you definitely have problems. I'm with Cary on this one.

Has anyone observed the reactions of the kids to this woman's, uh, methods? Do they seem disturbed, distressed, squirming, uncomfortable? Or do they seem relieved that someone is speaking to them in a manner they can relate to, and do they feel less inhibited or self-conscious about asking questions or needing explanations?

Sometimes we forget that 13-year-olds are not as fragile and naive as we like to think they are. But if this particular group is especially sheltered, she might have to take it down a notch. Either way, start with the kids... watch their reactions to her methods. If the kids are indeed uncomfortable, you can approach it that way as opposed to "we think you're a sleazy harlot, Ms. Letourneau." However, you might still also want to keep an eye out for any inappropriate personal interactions--being frank is one thing; crossing certain boundaries is quite another.