Late - I was away from the computer for 48 hours (still getting over the shakes). Re not just Americans (and Afghanistanis) dying in Afghanistan - I'm aware, being Canadian, and knowing how many of ours have died there. Cousin of a friend of mine most recently. We had sense enough to say no when Bush wanted us to join in the Iraq *adventure*, but we weren't so smart about the Afghanistani quagmire. If it would actually make life better for The People (esp. the female people), or even CATCH BIN LADEN, then maybe...but too many invaders have invaded and fallen back... But Obama thinks he's the one who could do it. And possibly Iraq as well.

Many of the problems of the world seem intractable. And yet we do have the brain-power to solve a lot of them, or at least make them less awful, but somehow out combative instincts mostly win out. Even when surely it's clear that genocide isn't going to get every last person of Whatever Group, and that living together is something we gotta learn to do (I can't see how living together and cooperating with strangers is that much more daunting than doing so with one's crazy relatives! And ethnically the same but TOTALLY NUTS neighbors down the way...)

If I weren't a skeptic, I'd hope for the long promised New Age vibrational shift (or whatever), or hordes of Indigo Children, or Flying Saucers, or SOMETHING...

I perhaps resonate most with Realist, who says there are no totally right or totally wrong decisions. (There will be good and bad come from any decision, or making none.) And God's Country, who quotes the bit about doing Good Enough. (Life is too short to waste it trying to get things perfect. Anyway, perfect isn't possible.) I agree with Gonzo - just DO something (tho Standing Around Like an Idiot advice from Rule Following is ALSO good!). And I like cd4928's advice re astrology - it's sort of organized intuition stuff (tho keep the salt shaker handy) - and what IS your sign? - Libra, haha? "Even" Squalorholla with Voudon - I "do" Wicca myself, same (similar) difference. Again, organized intuition, an "artistic" approach to life. Left hand AND right hand. Hey, and Timbuktom, who reminds us that those people who think they chose well and are reaping the rewards thereof probably just got lucky (and watch out for the bus barrelling thru the intersection). EVERYbody wrote a wonderful, thoughtful letter.

I can't find the letter (maybe this was Cary's advice?) that recommended just Getting Away From It All - if possible, just go away and relax (or a trip to a foreign country where your head is totally occupied with the minutiae of moment-to-moment living) and use some mind-tricks to STOP *thinking* about all this jazz until you get home again.

Some older people look back and say they don't regret anything, even the stupid decisions - it all goes into making a *life*. (Not me - I want to go back and do it all again, and this time get it RIGHT. Ooops, excuse me, that was a little lapse...)

All this talk seems theoretical, since nobody here admits to having either been nor used a prostitute. A few people sort-of know one, or know somebody who does, or were approached to work, but no direct experience (admitted to).

Well, I was one, for a couple years - not high end, not street, sort of "middle-class". It was interesting and I married a client, which was a "successful" marriage. I knew a few other workers, male and female.

My comments on your comments? None of the above...

S/he spoke wonderfully. Cary was nutz. Why on earth would timid LW bring on an 'orrible scene (shudder) by Having A Talk with the object of her affections? And then (shudder shudder) beg him to set her up with a friend so she can romance him via a third party? the only thing I can think here is that Cary figured that LW needed such a facing-up to pain and embarrassment etc. that it would inoculate her against ever getting into such a situation again.

As for the people saying the LW is a user - well, yeah, and it might be useful for her to THINK about it, as a whole new perspective, but not get too down on herself about it. She's a loser-user. The winner-user is the guy she's enabling.

Oh, and Lyniee - right on!

Conflicted feelings here.

I was in an (not too much so physically, but still) abusive relationship with my first husband and I longed to have someone notice and support or advise or whatever. But no one did. People are very high on minding their own business......except when they shouldn't, of course.

NOT TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD.... The victims in these situations usually deny and don't cooperate with any outside efforts... If I'd had two brains to rub together, and a bit of gumption, things would have been different... But I was young and totally unprepared for life, had a couple kids, hadn't a clue what to do...

Now, offhand, in your case it sounds like there's no way the police could determine anything now - case closed, sounds like. Speaking to the husband - what possible outcome except frustration...

I imagine we all have Great Regrets, and often about things we couldn't have done anything about anyway... And are haunted by them...

And haunted by the horrors we know other people have committed...

"As far as degrading jobs go--and this may sound ridiculous to some but it is true for me--I have been far more degraded and disrespected at regular 40 hour a week, keep your clothes on jobs than by anything in my stint as a gigolo."

Yes.