I live our great Nation's capital and ride the metrorail to work each day. I used to tolerate the loud cellphone talkers on the train while I was trying to read my newspaper, rude people who never said thank you when I held the door open for them and then I tried sarcasm and it works most of the time. When a loud cellphone talker answers his/her phone loudly, I yell "hellllooooo". Same thing in a restaurant. It works! People need to be shamed into realizing that they're being inappropriate. When I hold the elevator door open for the managing partner of the firm and he doesn't thank me, I say very loudly "you're most welcome, Sir". When people get into the "express lane/15 items only" at the grocery store and their carts are piled high, I approach them, point up to the sign and read it to them very slowly. Perhaps I'm destroying what little good karma I have left, but it feels good and empowering.

This guy is not a psychopath, but he/she is definitely sociopathic - no conscience, no compassion. A cat shitting in your yard makes you want to kill it? Have you thought about getting your precious brats to clean the yard *before* they play in the yard? Or might that be an inconvenience for them? My neighbors' puppy gets into my yard every once in a while and does her business. So what? I clean it up. Get a life LW and be grateful that this is the biggest thing you have to whine about.

for the threats to the institution of marriage. Hell, maybe this scumbag of a brother feels he needs to exercise his constitutional right to marriage while some of the country tries to write discrimination against gays into the Constitution. Aside from my rant, LW needs to tell her prize of a brother that LW's integrity is an issue if she keeps silent. I recommend she reads Adrienne Rich's brilliant "On Lies, Secrets and Silence" if she needs further convincing. Lying is crazy making for everyone involved, except perhaps for the brother who seems to lack a conscience.

My heart goes out to LW and I also want to say that at 45, she is still so young and just coming into her own. Please don't buy into the American way of thinking (I know I'm generalizing here) but you're still young. You've learned some hard lessons, you have the capacity to put others needs ahead of yours, to commit. Your life is just beginning - a different life, yes, but there are many opportunities ahead of you. I'd highly recommend the book "Eat Pray Love" by Elixzabeth Gilbert (it was reviewed on Salon some months ago) and you could do your own variation thereof, but figure out who you are in relation to the world at large versus who you were as wife and mother. To paraphase a wonderful Buddhist teacher, some anger cuts through confusion, so take the seeds of your anger and plant things that are constructive for you and the universe. Good luck to you.

Two points. I can verify Moira's statements about Webb past disregard of women. My partner served in the Navy for 23 years and found it insulting and condescending to hear that Webb didn't think she and her female colleagues couldn't handle combat. And yet, we will be voting for Webb come November, regardless of his campaign's dearth of glossy brochures or the smear campaign that Allen will conduct. Secondly, as a Northern Virginia resident, I would like to remind people that yes, the Commonwealth is considered red, but the majority of Northern Virginians who voted in the last election, did so for Kerry. I believe it was the first time in 40 years that Northern Virginia voted for a Democrat. I would love for Northern Virginia to secede and form a separate state, but then what would the rest of the tobacco-chewin' Commonwealth do without mooching off our taxes.

Oh please give me and the LW a break. We don't choose to whom we're attracted. We make choices about whether to act on those attractions. The LW has expressed remorse and I'd bet will not do this again. She's taken responsibility and has shown restraint by ending the relationship, no doubt a hard decision. I give her all the credit in the world. And no, I'm not a teacher and have never had a relationship with a subordinate. Why do all the posters who think that because she had this one time fling, she's now become a predator who will repeat her actions? We all make mistakes and this is definitely not sexual abuse or predatory. At 18, this young man engaged in something that was consensual.

but you find the extermination of pets funny? I don't work for PETA or Greenpeace (not that that's a bad thing) but when animal cruely is a problem, why would I buy the work of a writer who finds humor in the suffering of animals?

that Cary would encourage the LW to apologize to a "father" for the expression of cynicism about the father's motivations. Of course she should be cynical! Here's a man whose words and music don't match. He's not really done anything thus far to earn her trust or her siblings' trust. I say keep him at a distance, regardless of whether he moves near LW or not. I don't understand why, because this man suddenly reappears (coincidentally at a time when he'll be making major life changes), LW should become all touchy feeling.

After a particularly difficult visit with in laws (who mooched off us for several weeks), a friend sent me the following sign:

Friend Welcome, Family by Appointment Only