Great advice Cary! I'm watching my sister who's decided to stay in a long term relationship with her boyfriend who has moved to another country and it's hell for her. I can't send her this letter because it's not my place to, but my sister spends her time and energy wondering what next she can put in his care package. He's offered no commitment at all, other than "I feel committed to you, but don't want to get married." She takes care of his house even though they didn't live together before he moved. My advice to LW: get out now. The heartache you feel will be short term, but you can build your life without him. If his career means so much that he's willing to forfeit his relationship with you, he's not your soul mate. Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.

Note to Peggy: silly, silly, silly. You're confusing facts with logic when say that if Cheney was a client of yours, he'd be charged. This is Cheney we're talking about! He's above the law. He authorizes an underling to blow a CIA operative's cover with seeming impunity, his "former" company gets contracts without bidding in the occupation of a country. When it came time to serve his own country,he had "other priorities". Why would a triflin' matter like shooting someone incur any consequences for him? Turns out Cheney managed to wolf down a mighty fine dinner after the shooting too.

I work at a large law firm and it seems to me that the LW's husband is losing his soul. It is a blessing and a gift to find work that one finds meaningful - for LW'w husband to ask her to give that up, says so much about his downhill slide. He made a choice based on earning power. Now he's paying the price and he's imposing his dissatisfaction on her. Perhaps he feels jealous that she loves her job and he doesn't. Who knows? Several years ago, I became depressed and after much soul searching, quit the rat race and went to a monastery for 6 months,where I wrote, gardened and did much soul searching. That time gave me the tools to go back with a different perspective, different priorities. I have bills to pay and would like to retire early, so for me, this is the route I choose. The short term solution might be that he needs to find things outside of work to feed his spirit and reconnect him with what's important. Law firms don't provide that and it's his responsibility to do that for himself. Perhaps this might be something he and LW could do together to deepen honest communication. My suggestion to the LW is that it's a blessing to not have to attend the social events held by law firms. They're boring, a waste of time and money and I've urged my own firm to donate to charities instead of throwing these boondoggles, to no avail. I haven't been to a single Christmas party in years. The divorce rate amongst lawyers is astronomical but I do believe it's possible to work in that environment, reap the benefits and still stay sane and healthy. It does require self awareness (about which I have much to learn). If you are still in love with each other, I encourage you to keep your job and help rekindle your husband's joy.

I say LW should give her dad the benefit of the doubt. We don't know why he had the response he did. Perhaps he was trying to adjust to becoming a grandfather and how that would fit in with his second marriage. My advice to LW would be to stay engaged with her father, be open to possibility, but not have expectations of him. I also would hypothesize that once her father actually sees his grandchild, there's a really good chance that he will soften and be more engaged. My own father was a violent, self centered man and now I watch him with his grandkids sitting on his lap, reading to them and helping them with puzzles and I feel a weird combination of envy (that I didn't get to experience that) and gratitude that my dad's heart opened enough to experience whatever sweetness and joy he's allowed into his life.

I don't think that the real issue here is the fact that the writer had the means to travel, and that many of us don't, but rather, the fact that sometimes it's necessary to step outside of one's daily life, to get a fresh perspective and hopefully a fresh start. In my own case, I went to a monastery within the U.S. for 3 months. I worked (learned organic biointensive gardening) in exchange for room and board, so my expenses were actually a lot less during that time, than if I'd been working. I took a much needed sabbatical and came back to realize that I needed to make changes in my life. I was able to put away enough money in savings and live simply to make this happen. In a society where 2 weeks' vacation per year is the norm, it's no wonder that depression is so prevalent. No doubt there are many people who think that taking time out is a form of escape, but it all depends on what one does with the time off.