Great column Cary! As I read this letter, it occurred to me that there was so much that was unspoken between LW and her neighbor and perhaps misunderstandings and hurts on both sides. My suggestion to LW would be to buy a bean of coffee beans - now that you're working, perhaps to buy some coffee that you've been wanting to try that you might've felt was too "indulgent" because you weren't working (I apologize in advance if I'm making assumptions about your financial situation), leave the bag on your neighbor's doorstep with a note to the effect that you'd been eyeing this coffee for a while and would like to try some in her company and that you really miss your mornings sharing coffee with her. It's the silliness that makes life so much richer. Good luck.

Huckabee sounds as though he'd perfect as President and could seamlessly continue Bush's legacy ... disregarding ethics, destroying records, putting down any kind of independent thinking. Maybe he could declare a hypothetical war on Iran to complete the picture. Why, bring it on.

I too love fluffy kittens and puppies but it's totally inappropriate to impose this on co-workers (or even friends and family!) Is there some way you could send an anonymous note to your manager's supervisor and say that these kinds of emails seriously reduce productivity. Most companies pay attention to "reduced time efficiency and productivity". Meow.

I liked Cary's advice, but I would also suggest a separation between LW and his wife. As I read what the facts are, it would seem to me that LW's wife is still very involved with the married guy and as hard as it will be for LW, he needs let that unfold, without being a doormat, but by taking of his own psyche and creating an anchor in his life and allowing his wife to make a very tough decision. I don't believe that this work is possible if LW and his wife are living under the same roof. It's easy for us to blame and moralize, but it's a complex situation. Good luck and I wish you strength.

is whether you still love her, are still in love with her. I couldn't get that from your letter. I think it's normal to feel a sense of relief initially, but if you are still in love with her, that's a whole different story, requiring a different strategy. Good luck!

Firstly, thank you Cary for writing what you did before the letter. Secondly, I could really relate to a lot of what the LW wrote - I'm almost 50 and my situation was similar, but without the kids. I too had a "solid" job but in the summer of 2005 I started feeling as the LW described. My own personal philosophy is that in the past when I have felt this way, I need to take stock of what it is that needs paying attention to. I realized that in the daily grind, it is very hard to think about the alternatives - it is hard enough to meet one's obligations, so there is little energy, much less creativity left to think about what we truly love. I realized that I needed to quit my job to give myself breathing room. I figured how much money I'd need to be without work for 8 months (without dipping into savings or going into debt) and it took me a year to save that much - the year was hell, but I did it. I quit my job and pursued my love of gardening and I also took a stand up comedy class. I have no idea what I'll do after my "sabbatical" but I feel more optimistic about the future. It sounds to me that your soul is hungry for something that will ignite passion - please don't squelch this by taking meds that will help you to continue to merely function. I know that meds have helped some people but please persevere and try to find what it is that would help you to feel more alive. Good luck.

I'm a woman and I have two cats - one male and one female. Huckabee says "animal" but he doesn't specify beyond that. Does this mean I should propose to my cat now, just in case he's elected and decides to gut the Constitution?

I've never been in debt, although I do have a credit card (which I pay in full each month), drive a 20 year old car, have money in savings, yadda yadda yadda, but the thing that struck me about this article is that it's really about facing a hard reality - whether it relates to a painful financial situation or a relationship in which one is doing most of the work - it's about taking stock and having compassion for one's own situation. It is so tempting to have illusions to prop up our egos, a false sense of worth, etc. but to actually be honest takes a lot of courage. I wish you luck Ms. Hepola and hope that you find ways to sort this out.

Friends are God's apology for family.

Wow, I'm thinking that your boyfriend could start a revolution, beginning with his own TV show, say, teaching Larry the Cable Guy how to make gnocchi.

What still amazes me is that the USDA seems more outraged by the fact that some of us want to drink raw milk and goes to great lengths to make sure that the sale of raw milk is illegal in many states. 143 million pounds of beef is recalled and the USDA is still kvetching over raw milk. God help us!