Firstly I think the LW and her siblings deserve a lot of credit for coming out of a tough childhood and being as well adjusted as they are. Secondly, it seems that the LW needs to work on her own issues and not impose those on her fiance. If the LW is going to have a conversation about money with her fiance (and I encourage that) why not treat it as an experiment in truth. I like Cary's approach, but it also feels heavy handed. Perhaps she could ask him what his attitude/feelings about money are. Until you understand where he is coming from and what money means to him, it feels like lots of assumptions are being made and then acted upon. You love the guy and now there is distance between the two of you. It would be a shame to continue to sabotage what sounds like a very special relationship.

I love Cary's response, as well as subsequent letters. As someone who was not fully present when a former lover was dying (we broke up well before her diagnosis) I have many regrets - not so much guilt because my ex passed away very peacefully, but because I was so shut down when I spent time with her. She was fine, as your friend will be, but I now believe that when we spend time around someone who is dying (regardless of their temperament) it presents an opportunity for us to be openhearted - not a doormat, but rather as a opportunity to try to see her inner spark or some redeeming quality about her and focus on that. It can also give us the opportunity to contemplate our own death - not in a fearful way, but perhaps a more mindful way.

This is easier said than done and I am preaching here because I was not able to do this myself, so I thought that since you and she originally connected around dogs, why not offer to spend time with her dog? No doubt, the dog is experiencing anxiety and confusion and possibly lack of attention and since you obviously care about animals, you could show your caring that way.

Good luck and I wish your friend well.

Firstly, it's clear that LW's boss is totally out of line and extremely disrespectful, regardless of her orientation. Hopefully, she has a good lawyer because she's cruising (pun intended) for a sexual harassment suit against her and her company. Secondly, as a lesbian, I don't believe that we have a monopoly on certain styles. I'm pretty clear about whom I'm attracted to, but there are days when I feel more femme and other days when I feel more andro. I don't understand why LW can't be left alone to dress as she wishes and why Cary and others are putting some kind of overlay on her. If not shaving is a criterion, then most European and Mediterranean woman must be lesbians,right?

yes folks - to those who doubt the value of eating organic foods, that's ultimately our choice. I have worked as a County volunteer at a weekly farmer's market this summer and helped an organic farmer (there's a difference between someone claiming to be "organic" versus "certified organic", the latter involving a time consuming, expensive and tedious process). Basically, carrots are one of the vegetables that absorb absolutely everything in the soil so it's even more important to eat organic carrots, if possible.

What I did notice at the farmer's market is that more and more customers who previously didn't think about the source of their food are now paying more attention and buying locally grown foods.

I have found is that people assume that organic is more expensive and sometimes this is not the case. To wit, I was buying organic apples at Wegman's for $1.99 per pound. The conventionally grown apples were exactly the same price so it pays to not assume that organic will be more expensive.

In my opinion the way to bridge the divide between the perception of organic buying as elitist versus people who aren't able to afford organic food, is community supported agriculture.

Geez, why did the LW endure so much pummelling from this salesman? And signing a contract to get the guy to leave? I think that her behaviour sets a really unhealthy example for her kids. I would not even bother to see a lawyer. Don't have any further dealings with this company! Forget the free remodeling. If the salesman (usually a customer's first impression of the company) was this bad, I wouldn't trust the workers they send to the house. New kitchen cabinets and applicances are not worth the danger of further dealings with this outfit.

If you do decide to pursue a remodel, go to the NARI website for guidelines on how to deal with contractors and questions to ask.

I would suggest that the LW not pay into the Glorification Fund but I think her delivery in telling the office manager her decision is what counts. I would say that I've had some unexpected expenses come up and am unable to afford much of anything these days.

The last firm at which I worked had this scheme where we could wear our jeans on a Friday if we paid $5 which would go to a charity of the firm's choosing. I wore my jeans but refused to pay because the firm very seldom gave the money to animal-related causes (these days that's my passion). I found it ironic that we had to pay the firm to wear OUR clothes.