What my friends wanted was a home in which to raise their family. They saw a condo they thought they might be able to afford and so they went to a mortgage company.

The loan officer looked at their credit history and incomes and told them yes, they could buy the condo. All they had to do was take a loan at 8% and a piggyback loan at 11%. My friends knew this was at a high rate, and that it was an ARM that would adjust, but the loan officer reassured them. He said that they could refinance before it reset and that they would be okay. My friends trusted this banking professional because mortgages were his business. Certainly the mortgage company would not lend them money unless they could afford it. That's what mortgage companies do - they lend money responsibly for a living.

My friends had a baby. The husband wanted to provide better for his family so he started to go to school part-time while working full-time.

Then they noticed something ominous. One of their neighbors was foreclosed on. Then another. Then their monthly maintainance payment more than doubled to make up for the lost tenants. They knew that this plus the ARM adjustment would kill them. They went back to their bank and tried to refi and could not on any terms. After a lot of attempts at finding a solution, they realize that they are dead meat unless some miracle happens.

And then something unexpected did happen. George Bush, of all people, announced a plan that would save them. They fit the criteria fully and would not be ruined if the plan came to reality.

But according to people here it's all just too effing bad and my friends and their baby should just plain die cause that's capitalism for you. Sink or swim, baby.

Are you guys sure that you wouldn't embrace this if a beloved Democrat like Bill proposed it? Cause it doesn't cost taxpayers a dime and will help lots of real humans like my friends.

You won't get the money and for goodness sake do not go over there. This is over. You were a trusting soul and you got screwed. I'm sorry but it is a life lesson. Some people really are bad news and you met one of them. Be glad he at least paid for the dang parts.

Just know this - the guy's car will break down again. He won't be able to call you for help cause he already screwed you. This will cause him pain. This is as close to payback as you're going to get.

Ignore him on the street. Call the cops when it's warranted and you can do it anonymously. I know this kind of guy - he will mess your face up first and think about the consequences later. I predict he will soon be unable to pay the rent and screw his landlord. You can outlast him I think.

Again, please don't go over there. Cary has apparently never lived near a person like this. I know exactly the type you're talking about and he's total trouble. Keep your distance and your cats indoors.

I'm not saying anything new here by pointing out that our society has become totally insane when it comes to women and weight. People actually called Britney Spears "fat" in her recent disasterous appearance, and Jennifer Love Hewett "fat" in her candid bikini shots. It's a horrible message for women when physically normal females are held up as examples of obesity.

I welcome any sane conversation on this subject. These images are a good place to start. If these heavier women can be totally comfortable with themselves, can't we all find a way to be happy at a healthy weight?

A hard lesson for me was understanding that even tho someone says something rudely doesn't mean that they're wrong.

I'm a former member of Alanon and one of the first, most important lessons we learn there is that there was a reason why we picked an alcoholic to love. Then we move on to why we tolerated their behavior for so long. Yes, the abuser or alcoholic was an asshat, but we picked them and we need to understand why.

Often spouses resist joining groups like Alanon because they were not the "bad one", the OTHER jerk was the problem. Why should I join a group and get help when I wasn't the abuser or alcoholic? I was good! S/he was bad! But the old saying "it takes two to tango" exists for a reason. There were problems with both parties and that's how the dance got started. The abuser saw something in you and you saw something in him - something primal happened and you need to understand why.

I know you don't want to believe that there is something wrong with your relationship, but you wrote for a reason. IMO the reason is because there are red flags waving like mad and you sense it, but you don't have the tools yet to decipher what it all means. Your intuition is screaming, LW. Please listen to yourself. I can tell from your early, defensive response that you want to sweep this all under the carpet, claim you're going to "go slow", and forget your doubts. Don't.

I don't know if there are groups like Alanon for women who have been abused, but Cary is right to point you in that direction. Everthing I've shared with you here I learned there. Of course you need to think for yourself - it's not like you join and become a zombie and follow their every pronouncement. But let them help you. These groups exist for a reason and the reason is to save you from years of grief.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year LW! The best is yet to come!