Just thought I'd add that I'm enjoying the new blog. I like the mix of the sublime with the silly.

Most of the people I know who got Masters in Studio Arts were positive about the experience. Most people told me that it made them better artists. That's the whole point, to get you to look at art in new ways, and expand your horizons. I've also observed this myself by looking at artists' work, both before and after art school. Art school is also good with regards to learning how to express your ideas and articulate them. It teaches you how to assert yourself, describe your work, and describe what you were trying to accomplish. I think that the "critique" experience is a good thing - I wish that other disciplines had such a process. And yes, I also know that art school can be a terrible experience, where you aren't treated well. It can be a good and also a very bad scene, so you want to investigate what the experience is at the school you are interested in.

On the family, as far as I can tell, they have a business together and the LW's husband is doing what he wants to do.

I think that the LW said that she wanted to go to art school in maybe a year. She also has to get into the program. But, wow, a good art school in the city they are probably going to be living in - it doesn't get better than that!

So, let the husband know how important this is to you. Don't back down. You don't have to justify it in terms of monetary value. Say "it will make me a better artist, and I want to do it". You don't need to do a cost/benefit analysis - leave it at that. He has to accept the fact that it's really important to you that you do it, and the family unit has to find a way to make that work. Then, talk to the people at the department, show them your portfolio, and ask for advice on getting in. Will you need to take some additional classes which help you develop a stronger portfolio, or something? Find out. If this is the only school you are going to be applying to, you really want to get in. Also investigate financial aid. As far as I know, there's not a lot of financial aid for art school, but hey, what do I know - there might be. I also don't know how expensive the school is - not all great, highly ranked art schools are ivy league in name or price.

Then, work together with your husband on the finances, and on how to handle the child care and family business. If it's better to go two years from now rather than one year, that's fine, but get yourself a plan. Don't wait another eleven years. I would be careful about the money, and take some care and thought into figuring out how to make it work. The best thing to do is assume that art school will not directly translate into a monetary reward at the end. If you are a better artist, that's not necessarily a guarantee that your work will sell more, though it might.

Finally, there are women who are married with children, and they have art careers. Having a happy home life is generally a career and artistic booster, not a career limiter. You'll also be at advantage if you can find a way to make your art, without having to be supported exclusively by it. The old days of people having art professor jobs (and a free studio), and then having the time and resources to make their art - that's mostly gone one - very, very few art professor jobs come open. It's fiendishly difficult to get an art professor job now. Anyway, that's not what I think you want.

On the husband devalueing formal education - I've seen this before. Some people who don't go to college or get advanced degrees denigrate both what you learn and what you experience. I don't really know why that is - jealousy, insecurity, not having a good experience with school, what? I don't understand it. Just because it didn't work out for the LW's husband, that doesn't mean that formal education is a bad thing.

Oh no. This 70 year old man is down to 100 pounds, doesn't eat much, smokes cigarettes and drinks coffee all day (probably his only pleasures) and is screamed at all day. It's probably hard for for this older man to imagine how he could make a life change. Perhaps, after all those years, this seems normal to him. This breaks my heart.

I don't have any solutions - getting him to AA, that would help, I think. At least that would get him out of the house. I'd also call the abuse hotline, check that out.

I know that the LW has a life to lead, and they need to establish themselves, and not be dragged under by their family. For all that, is there any way you could get the father out of that situation? I realize that the man was an alcoholic, but I don't think that this means he must be compelled to experience a lifetime of torment. I just think that, in this last stage of his life, he deserves a little peace.

I also think it would be better for the other family members. As far as I can tell, it's not possible for the family dynamic to get worse. At least there would be a slight possiblity of change if the father is out of the house.