You are someone who needs stimulation ande challenge in your life and seem to flourish when you uproot yourself to begin again. This is at odds with the standard life script for adulthood, which you feel you are expected to follow, which is all about settling down for the long-haul. Most people would find it difficult to constantly uproot, to move to a new city, to keep having job interviews, learn new office cultures, etc. So why not view this as something to feel good about? Whatever you do for a living, it is obviously something that leaves you bored after a period of a few months (for this reason, a PhD might not be right for you, it is a marathon of years). You need to find something to do in life that takes advantage of your restless life syndrome. I am thinking of several alternative career options right away. The first is the diplomatic core, where you are expected to move every two years, or any type of overseas job, corporate or otherwise, where you have to be able to adapt quickly and be willing to pack up and move on at a moment's notice. The other is to work in politics, where nothing can be taken for granted and the terrain shifts all the time. Evidently McCain is an extremely restless man. Yet another is any type of travel writing or journalism where you have to be on the go. Some of the most interesting people in history could be said to have restless life syndrome. The world is your oyster and nothing is wrong with you in my book. If you have the energy to keep moving, then do it, and view it as something positive.

I was thinking about your comment that you will never parent again. You say you get tremendous satisfaction from mothering and grieve not being able to have another child. As others have said, there are many ways to mother children even if they are not biologically your own. You clearly have lots of love to give. You could adopt a child or consider being a foster parent and have a huge impact on a child's life. You could also consider hosting an exchange student for a year (for example, AFS, the American Field Service - www.afs.org - but there are many other such organizations). Many single parents host and find it extremely rewarding. Moreover, it would provide your daughter with an immediate teenage sibling from another country. Finally, in a decade or so, your daughter may have children of her own and you will find yourself right back in the swing of parenting, this time as a grandmother.

As for grieving, going through a period(s) of melancholy is part of life's journey. However, you must have faith in your own narrative. You got out of a marriage that from the outside might have looked very much like "smug marrieds" to others. You are the star of your own movie. Read the biography or autobiography of someone you admire and you will find that the most interesting people often have lives that were full of ups and downs, sometimes more downs than ups.

for posting your piece earlier in the week. Like many others here, I have been waiting for your assessment and thoughts as the most sensible voice out there.

I am wondering what you think about the fly-by-wire faulty algorithm theory. From what I read in the news this morning, it may be that the fly-by-wire system on the Airbus 330 malfunctioned as it did on the Quantas plane several hours into the flight and has apparently done on three other 330 flights that suddenly nosedived. The extremely bad weather might not even have contributed to the malfunctioning; in the Quantas case I do not believe there was bad weather. Authorities are determining whether the Air France plane had the same type of potentially faulty algorithm wiring as the Quantas plane.

If so, it is possible that the turbulence and lightning had nothing to do with the initial cause of the crash but, if anything, perhaps contributed to the crew's inability to get the plane stabilized. Even then it is possible that weather had no impact either, if the plane's systems went totally out of control.

We may never know, but if the cause of the crash was a screwy fly-by-wire algororithm that was not related to the extreme bad weather, it would somehow be reassuring the next time I find myself sick to my stomach, gripping the armrests as the plane lurches through the air. If turbulence and lightning did break up the plane, then I (and everyone else who worries about these things) also have to contend with visions of the plane breaking up in the freezing night sky, whereas before I could always murmur my mantra: turbulence at cruising altitude never causes crashes.

Whatever happened, evidently happened very quickly, whether a nosedive or an explosion, either from a bomb or from an undetected fire (perhaps from lightning?), all of which would explain the lack of a mayday call which I guess the pilots would have made if they had had anyt time at all. Hopefully the debris will provide some clues.

It is a terrifying thing to have happened and my heart goes out to the families who are grieving.