Letters to the Editor
Bill Owen
Published Letters: 569 Editor's Choice: 6
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@ Arne, Death of Mary Queen of Scots.
[Read the article: David Broder: Embodiment of Beltway values]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You are running rings around them, logically! Good job!
From Monty Python
The sketch:
Voice over: Number ninety-seven: a radio.
Radio Announcer: And now the BBC is proud to present a brand new radio drama series, "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots." Part One: The Beginning.
(music)
Man's voice: Yoo arrr Mary, Queen of Scots?
Woman's voice: I am!
(sound of violent blows being dealt, things being smashed, awful crunching noises, bones being broken, and other bodily harm being inflicted. All of this accompanied by screaming from the woman.)
(music fades up and out)
Announcer: Stay tuned for part two of the Radio Four Production of "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots", coming up...almost immediately.
(music then sound of saw cutting, and other violent sounds as before, with the woman screaming. Suddenly it is silent.)
Man's voice: I think she's dead.
Woman's voice: No I'm not!
(sounds of physical harm and screaming start again. then music fades up and out)
Announcer: that was episode two of "The Death of Mary, Queen of Scots", specially adapted for radio by Gracie Fields and Joe Frazier. And now, Radio Four will explode.
(music an then the radio explodes.)
Two old women are sitting on the couch listening to the radio when it explodes. One looks at the other
First Pepperpot (Graham Chapman): We'll have to watch the Telly-vision!
Second Pepperpot (John Cleese): Aaaaw. (sound of agreement)
(they turn the couch so it's facing the television. One turns the television on, and they sit down. There is a small penguin sitting on top of the television set.)
Both Pepperpots: (singing, mumbled) hhmhmhmhmh... mhmmhmh mhmhm hhmhmmhm mhmhmmhmhmh
First Pepperpot: What's that on top of the telly-vision set?
(pause)
Second Pepperpot: (matter-of-factly) Looks like a penguin.
(pause)
Second Pepperpot: It's been a long time there, now, has it?
First Pepperpot: What's it doin' there?
Second Pepperpot: Standin'!
First Pepperpot: I can see that!
(pause)
First Pepperpot: If it laid an egg, it would roll down the back of the telly-vision set.
Second Pepperpot: Ummmm. I hadn't thought of that.
First Pepperpot: Unless it's a male.
Second Pepperpot: Yes. It looks fairly butch.
(pause)
First Pepperpot: Per'aps it's from next door.
Second Pepperpot: (yelling) NEXT DOOR?!? Penguins don't come from NEXT DOOR! They come from the Antarctic!
First Pepperpot: (yet louder) BURMA!!!
(they both stop short, looking around)
Second Pepperpot: Why'd'j say that?
First Pepperpot: I panicked.
Second Pepperpot: Oh.
First Pepperpot: Per'aps it's from the zoo.
Second Pepperpot: Which zoo?
First Pepperpot: (angrily) 'ow should I know which zoo it's from?!? I'm not Doctor bloody Bernofsky!!
Second Pepperpot: 'Oo's Doctor bloody Bernofsky?
First Pepperpot: He knows everything.
Second Pepperpot: Oooh, I wouldn't like that, that'd take all the mystery out of life.
(pause)
Second Pepperpot: Besides, if it were from the zoo, it'd have "property of the zoo" stamped on it.
First Pepperpot: They don't stamp animals "property of the zoo"!! You can't stamp a huge lion "property of the zoo"!!
Second Pepperpot: (confidently) They stamp them when they're small.
First Pepperpot: (snapping back) What happens when they moult?
Second Pepperpot: Lions don't moult.
First Pepperpot: No, but penguins do. THERE! I've run rings around you logically.
Second Pepperpot: (looks at the camera) OOOOH! INTERCOURSE THE PENGUIN!!!
(The television warms up: a man is sitting behind a news desk)
Man: Hello! Well, it's just after eight o'clock, and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.
(the penguin explodes)
First Pepperpot: 'Ow did 'e know that was going to happen?!
Man: It was an inspired guess. And now...
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@ sysprog
[Read the article: David Broder: Embodiment of Beltway values]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Sorry, I offended you. I only meant that it was a mistake on his part to be wandering around Iraq, alone, at a very dangerous time. I could have phrased it better.
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Every soldier a "hero" and every (dead) journalist "great"
[Read the article: Tim Russert, one of the good guys]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I won't say anything bad about Russert, apparently I have to wait 72 hours or something, but for all you who say what a great journalist he was, where does that leave Jeremy Paxman?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremy_Paxman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCo7qbzEX3c
Or his colleagues on "Hardtalk"? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMt6tQyr2dc
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Newt's the "terrorist"
[Read the article: Newt Gingrich, supreme fear-monger]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]A good, simple definition of a "terrorist" is someone who uses fear or "terror" to achieve political goals.
Newt proclaiming the probable death of millions in Iranian? nuclear fire unless his mad political demands are met, pretty much meets this definition.
Bin Laden sends his threatening videos to Al Jazeera, Newt appears on FOX, I can't see the difference. Can you see the difference?
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Another thing Newt got wrong
[Read the article: Newt Gingrich, supreme fear-monger]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The court has now knowingly stepped in–and this morning’s newspapers say smugglers had actually gotten the design of a nuclear weapon, that we now have the evidence that people out there had a nuclear weapon design. - Newt Gingrich
Designing a nuclear fission weapon has never been the problem. There are some relatively simple and "easy" designs out there. The real problem is obtaining a sufficient amount of enriched uranium or plutonium.
http://www.serendipity.li/more/atomic.html
Thermonuclear fusion weapons, which are truly terrifying, are another matter, and are probably beyond the capabilities of even most technologically advanced countries.
Not only is Newt a terrorist, he is an ill informed terrorist.