...that you can still count on the Republicans to undermine anything a Democratic president does -- even if their actions insure a nuclear Iran.

...that you can still count on the Democrats to roll over like scared puppies everytime the Republicans come up with some wacky new way to undermine the president.

...that Ron Paul is still out there, fighting for...something or other.

I, like many others, am disappointed in this response. As a conservative, I know there are good answers to these hard questions.

What's the answer here? Well, you'd never get it from this column -- it was a meaningless string of words followed by a silly little game of "you did it first!" Moreover, it was accompanied by the absurd claim that "center-right" values include family, hard work, and honesty. (Unlike the center-left values which, as we all know, include orphanages, laziness, and lying.) Do center-right values include loving your mother, too?

So, with respect, screw the column -- it was poorly thought out and poorly written, and gave no decent account of conservative values.

If Salon can't hire a decent conservative, those of us here are going to have to do it ourselves. Here's what I think is the answer to the question posed. Sorry to be long-winded, but let's start with some first principles.

1. A true conservative thinks change should be slow, measured, and intelligently thought-out.

2. A true conservative wants space for traditional approaches to life and family -- wants those things to continue to have value.

3. At the same time, a true conservative values the freedom and individuality that our country has long held dear. We shouldn't value "society" over the individual's right to be whoever they are.

It's been said (by me) that a true conservative is therefore basically moderate -- not looking for extreme change on either end of the political spectrum. Not looking to impose either a "brave new" society or to move to some pseudo-Christian, fake idea of Puritanism.

Slow, careful, traditional, individual -- THESE are conservative values. (Liberal values, by way of contrast, are flexible, exploratory, justice-seeking, and social. Neither is "bad" -- just different.)

So to the question. Some Republicans talk a lot about the importance of family. They use this to justify some rather harsh, anti-liberty positions, such as banning gay marriage. Yet, at the same time those very same Republicans too often are doing what humans do -- cheat. Moreover, many Republicans get away with it politically. How can we justify that contradiction? Do we value marriage, or not?

Here's the answer: Yes, we value marriage -- just as I'm sure liberals do. Valuing marriage -- that's pretty universal. The problem is that we allow that value to justify governmentally interfering with another, important value -- freedom. We use it to ban gay marriage. We use it to support theocracy. We abuse marriage as a wedge issue.

When the inevitable happens, we then suffer a backlash, and are called hypocrites.

The answer to that backlash should be simple: "Yeah, he chose a different, unfortunately human path, and it's not one that agrees with my values or what I understood to be his. I probably won't vote for him again. But I still value marriage."

Trouble is, you can't give that answer if your "valuing" of marriage has harmed someone else. If you want to allow tax credits for married couples, and then fail to live up to your vows...well, guess you don't get the tax credit. No biggie. On the other hand, if you "value" marriage by prohibiting others from marrying, and then break your vows anyway...well, what the hell? Why do YOU have marriage, when you "value" it by screwing around, but refuse to extend it to those who really would value it?

Secondly, you can't value marriage only when a liberal breaks his or her vows. If it's about playing politics -- if you care about marriage only to the extent that it will get you the vote of the Christian-nation crowd -- then you're not really a conservative to start with. But we too often are glad to jump on the other side's splinter, while ignoring the plank in our own eye. Why? Well, because we want to "win." And that's a failing.

So I think that's the answer -- conservatives end up as hypocrites not because we value marriage (that's good), but because we use it as a wedge issue to play politics with family values. We shouldn't stop valuing marriage -- and we shouldn't give cheaters a free pass. Rather, we should stop using marriage and family values as a tool to deny others the individual freedoms that we claim to value.