Letters to the Editor
wire0monkey
Published Letters: 195 Editor's Choice: 6
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Welcome to Gattaca
[Read the article: My niece was adopted 35 years ago -- and never told!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Genetics! Bah! Genetics play some role in a lot of diseases, but they're not the be all and end all of health information. Your genetics aren't your health destiny.
Example 1: if you have one parent or first degree sibling with bi-polar disorder, you're risk is increased about 10%. That's not very much.
Example 2: an inherited genetic mutation plays a part in only 4% of breast cancer cases.
In the other big American health problems: heart disease, obesity, high blood pressure, and diabetes, family history does increase your risk. On the other hand, these health problems are quickly detected through simple routine office tests, and a doctor doesn't need to know anything about your history to do these routine tests. The recommendations for preventing these problems (exercise, maintaining weight, eating right) aren't altered at all by family history and in fact should be part of everyone's health routine regardless of family history.
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Cry it out
[Read the article: Why am I crying all the time?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I never cried before I went to AA and quit drinking. I just didn't. When I quit drinking, at about three weeks of dry time, I started crying. I cried everyday for hours. I sat in the floor of my living room and cried. I thought I was losing my mind. After about three weeks of crying, I stopped.
I had a lot of losses that were unmourned. I guess I needed to cry about them. I was better off for getting it out. I'm stronger for having cried it out. I can look at those losses now and feel some sadness or regret, but not searing pain or grief. I still cry sometimes. I don't fight it. I just find time and space to let it happen and then get on with my life. Crying happens.
I wonder what would happen to you, if you stop fighting the grief and just let yourself feel it. Maybe if you just cry it out, for as long as it takes, you'll be able to move past it.
I will turn 40 in April. Middle-age is both sad and wonderful. I get to look at my life and my choices and see what worked and what didn't. I'm happy with some of my choices and regret other choices. I'm sad over the gradual loss of my beauty and my fertility, but I'm happy with the gradual gain in money and knowledge and experience. I'm planning for the second half of my life. The wonderful and terrible thing is that I get this chance to make more choices, but with the wisdom of my mistakes and successes behind me, rather than the blind leaps I took when I was 25. I can also see my death from here. It's not close (I hope!), but I can see it coming.
I'm also sort of tired right now, and I think that adds to my general mid-life crisis. Our country has been in a really dark place for the last seven years, and we're going through one more huge crisis before the election. I do think the election will bring us around, but this bailout thing is just one thing. It's stressful and that adds to personal stress.
That's enough maudlin reflection for this morning. Good luck working this out.
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Acceptance is the key to all my problems today
[Read the article: My father was murdered by my former next-door neighbor -- and I'm supposed to just get over it?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm so sorry to hear about your father.
My grandmother was murdered six years ago. No one has been charged with her murder. At this point, I think it's safe to say that no one will ever be charged with her murder. I'm angry and sad about this fact, but my anger and sadness change nothing. I gave the police and prosecutor the information that I had about the murder and encouraged others to do the same. That's all I could do. I am not the police or the prosecutor or the courts. I am powerless to change any of the facts in this situation. When I accepted my powerlessness over this situation, I started to find peace.
I'm not powerless over other things and turning my attention to those things helped me heal. I can take care of myself -- get enough exercise and food and sleep. I can take joy in my children and in music and a really good sushi. I can work in charity or the arts to make the world a better place. I can grow my small garden and encourage others to do the same.
You're not responsible for keeping that person in jail. You should speak to the parole board, because it's important to you that they know what this person did, but you're not the one who makes the decision. You're powerless over it. Let it go. Turn your attention to the things you can do to make your life better and make the world better.