Italy has been a bit of a trendsetter when it comes to feminism, so I wonder if this is the swing that's going to come to America?

Most people don't know that Italy has an incredibly rich history of feminism, women's activism and the like. Liberazione Della Donna: Feminism in Italy by Lucia Birnbaum is a really excellent history of the women's movement in Italy, and fantastically eye-opening for anyone interested in the history of feminism around the world.

Female empowerment seems to swing between extremes when it gets out into broader culture; women are told to be comfortable with their bodies, but then that comfort is exploited and turned yet again into objectification. A lot of women say "hey, I like to be objectified - it makes me feel sexy," which is fine, but then they often don't know where the line is between defining your self-worth internally versus it being defined for you based on how "sexy" you are.

I certainly don't think women should cover up and be prudish - we have earned the right to do with our bodies what we choose, and certainly that includes the right to be sex kittens if we want to be.

But when will women wake up to the game that's being played on us through all of this? Nudity in and of itself shouldn't be shocking - the human body is great in all its weirdness, and we've all got a body, so why should it be shameful? But the strategic baring of skin and pumping up of breasts and lips... it's not teaching us to love our bodies, but to idealize something most of us will never be. There's nothing wrong with fantasy, until fantasy becomes the "reality" we consume day in and day out.

I'm sure the situation in Italy will get worse before it gets better. I just hope that Italian women young and old are at some point reminded of their amazing feminist heritage, and of the changes their grandmothers made by marching in the streets, demanding and commanding respect.

To say that making this man heroic is not helpful is, well, not helpful. Clearly this man gave expression to everything the Iraqi people wanted to say but didn't. They traded one kind of tyranny for another. Iraqis still don't know whether today will be their last day or not; they still don't know who to trust, and day to day life is far less peaceful now than it was. They don't have to deal with the horrific tyranny of Hussein, but now have to deal with the horrific tyranny of a seemingly endless war.

Standing up to that tyranny in some small way, whether the man was doing it for selfish reasons or not, I think gave Iraqis hope. And hope is something that is awfully hard to come by in Iraq.

I doubt the LW will get to reading my letter, as it is, as I write this, #203.

But that being said, I think Cary makes a very important point. Which is, feelings were hurt, apologies must be made.

You can feel sorry for hurting your brother's feelings. You can apologize for hurting his feelings. Sincerely apologizing for making a promise you couldn't keep.

It was perhaps irresponsible of the LW to promise something like this; it was perhaps also irresponsible to sleep with the brother's roommate. It is perhaps because of the promise - and resulting rebellion - that this whole thing even happened. A power struggle between brother and sister... who is in control? The boy or the girl? The little brother or the big sister? That's what I detect here, especially when the LW states she didn't want to let her little brother dictate what she could and couldn't do.

Brothers can be strangely protective of their sisters (and yes, vice versa), for lots of reasons. Your brother may have seen this guy sleep with a whole lot of women, and maybe has developed a disrespect for all those women. Maybe he didn't want to also feel that way about you. Perhaps this is causing a crack in his worldview about sex and women and relationships, forcing him to either force you out, or open up to the fact that these kinds of things are way more complex than they seem.

Or maybe he has some unresolved feelings for this guy, and is struggling with those feelings, and sees this as a betrayal on multiple levels.

Or maybe he just expected you to keep a promise, not understanding that those kinds of promises are big trouble, inviting themselves to be broken.

I hope you can both come to your senses, and see where both of you have been wrong. But I think Cary is right - it has to start with a sincere apology with no reservations on your part.

If you've only been together six months, and you got together immediately after he moved out from still living with (and being faithful to) his wife, and you're already living together, and he is turning back to his wife now, he will turn back again.

He may love you, but he still loves her. Or he is still attached to her.

I speak from experience: you have to let him go. It was probably a mistake for you to move in together before he was divorced, before he'd lived on his own for a while after getting out of a six year marriage.

Let him go, let him deal with this. If he loves you, if you are meant to be together, he will come back. But if you are someone in whom he can immerse himself as he disentangles himself from his marriage, then he may not come back. You owe it to yourself to know.

This is a much-needed statement from the White House, but I am also waiting with somewhat baited breath for the executive order to repeal the global gag rule. I'd hoped that this would come today, but it's getting awfully late.