Whenever my wife asks me does she look fat, I always respond, "not falling for that one babe." If I say "no," she'll accuse me of lying, and if I say "yes," then I can forget about dinner later that night. In fact it is pretty much an unwritten rule in our house that weight cannot be discussed, because it is the one topic that is certain to cause stress. But even if my wife isn't pestering me on the topic of whether I think she is sexy anymore, she still checks the scales religiously twice a day. Every second of her life I know she is worried about every ounce of bounce she may possess, and every year her worrying gets worse, despite a very relentless and successful effort on her part to keep her weight under control.

In my opinion the relentless effort on her part is the problem. I haven't checked my weight in 15 years, and I wouldn't know what my weight was if my occupation didn't put me on the scales bi-annually. Keeping in shape for myself, and for most men, simply means eating right and putting in an hour of exercise 3 to 4 times a week. Keeping in shape for women means counting calories of every dish, purging with laxatives, purging by vomiting, hours on the Stairmaster everyday, and a host of other extremes that usually cause things like balding and early menopause.

And the irony is that I can't be honest. Of course you got fat honey, I'm a "the more cushion, the better for pushing" kind of guy, and I wouldn't have been so attracted to you if I couldn't have found softness all over your body. Who wants to grind against a bone? Of course my wife has curves, and with those curves I find cleavages that are a lot of fun.

Ladies, I know you will never believe this, my wife certainly won't, because you all have been seriously mind fucked by the entertainment industry, fashion designers, and advertising, but most straight men prefer some extra meat in the thighs and butt, and most of us like soft hips and stomachs. As I said earlier, I was on the beach with JLH that day, and the straight fellows and I all thought she had a tasty looking hinny, and were transfixed with hope that it might break loose of her bikini bottom. If we didn't like big, volumptous asses we would be gay. There is a reason why doggy style and reverse cowgirl are men's favorite positions; the more ass we see, the more we are enthralled. I could go on and on, and I know I haven't proved my case, and you all are still going to drag yourselves into misery and guilt fretting over the possibility that you consumed too much of something that will create celulite, but did you ever stop to think that maybe if you stopped worrying about your weight and focused more on being happy with yourself that likewise the man (or potential man) in your life will be happier with you? Worrying only cause stress, and stress is always bad for relationships. Instead of asking the man (or potential man) in your life, "am I fat," ask him "will you do me?" And if his answer is "no," then dump the dude, because he is a loser, and there is definitely a man out there who will "do you." Trust me on that one

You and I have completely different values, beliefs, and backgrounds.

I am not a pacifist.

My list of the 4 worst possible crimes a person could commit goes in this order:

1. Crimes against humanity, which includes genocide, ethnic cleansing, slavery, and the worst of the worst; sex slave trafficking. Perpetrators of those crimes should be executed.

2. Systematic willful destruction of the environment on a massive scale. the CEO boards of corporations that dump their waste in the oceans or into the air, and fail to take any responsibility for their scorched Earth policy should be hauled before an international court, and tried as criminal racketeers harmful to the Earth.

3. Murder

4. Rape

As I said I am not a pacifist, and I can think of several scenarios where murder would be appropriate (not legal but appropriate) such as assassinating leaders of a military or para-military organization attempting to overthrow the government, and killing someone who you know will rape and/or murder. But I can think on no example in which it would be appropriate to traffic in sex slaves or commit the other acts of crimes against humanity I listed. And as a religious man I am convinced that there are fates worse than death.

I can't think of any example in which rape would be appropriate either, but I agree with you that to suffer rape is not as bad to suffer murder (though I probably would hunt down and kill anyone who raped one of my family members or close friends).

Wait, she did that when we first starting dating, and I have been compliant ever since. But I get to select the movies that go into our netflix queue, though she is the one who decides which porn we watch.

My marriage is happy, but I am sure that if I had told my wife to submit it would not be.