Oh AKA Smith, rest assured that the 2 women I mentioned are complete figments of my imagination.

However, isn't it interesting that I got so little support from any side on this issue of cheating?

I am a fulltime working serviceman, and in the past 12 years I have not lived in the same city for more than 3 years at a time. I just recently moved into the house that I live in now. My 2 kids take up most of my free time, and any time I have left over is reserved for the one woman in my life, my wife.

But please keep in the mind the points I was trying to make.

Most importantly that not getting caught is never due to luck. It takes a lot of hard work to keep a secret relationship secret. And are the men and women who cheat really bad people? Is MLK a bad guy because he cheated? Is FDR any less worthy of respect because he died in his mistress's arms. Did President Clinton actually cheat with Monica, and was his consensual relationship with Jenifer Flowers, which did not involve a transfer of money, a disgrace?

Are there other women that I have wanted to love in the romantic sense? Of course, but I never cheated on my wife, and nor have I kept secrets from her. But even if I had would that really make me a bad person? Can a man not give love to more than one woman without objectifying her, and can't women do the same in their extra marital affairs?

On the issue of multiple wives, I do have a very dear friend in Qatar (a penpal) who has 3 wives, and says his 3 wives love him deeply, and that he is deeply committed to them (he is the inspiration for my original anonymous comment). Personally I have no problem with my friend's plural marriage arrangement (since it is the custom in his nation that is not mine), but I do wish his wives had the same freedom that he exercises (he laughed at the idea when I mentioned it to him, but he said he was not willing to entertain it).

In the case of any of the trolls that don't believe me now, I really don't care, my wife knows who I am (even if she doesn't know that I am fetboy).

AKA Smith, thank you very much for your reply, even when you thought I might not be as honorable as I have professed to be (I assure you that I take my honor extremely seriously).

Yeah, anybody juggling 2 big secrets would eventually need to be institutionalized.

My only correction to your letter is that I have never loved a woman (in the romantic sense), because I wanted to protect her. The women I am attracted to are strong will, capable of defending themselves, fiercely independent, and usually older and much more successful than me.

Actually I do have 2 married female penpals on opposite sides of the world, and my wife does not like that I write such intimate messages to them, but I do not keep them a secret from my wife. And before I was married I did have relationships with married women, and I certainly did not feel objectified by them.

So sorry, I should not have played such a trick on a friend. My original anonymous letter was to stress that, not getting caught, is a not matter of luck, and that most cheaters do have a plan other than luck.

I was going to submit my second letter anonymously, but when I realized that I was writing to a friend that had unknowingly accused me of objectifying women, I thought it would be more fun to see how you would respond back to a friend of your's that had confessed to years of cheating (we are friends right?).

You said I needed help, but you then spoke to me in a more friendly tone. The truth is that a lot of your friends probably have cheated in their lives, you just don't know it.

My comment "Life is too short, but not so short that you can't love as many as you can, provided you put forth the effort and time, and are willing to pay the consequences should you ever get caught," was the real meat of my original anonymous letter, and though I have issue with that comment, when my friend from Qatar wrote it to me, I had to think about it for a while (though I added the "should you ever get caught" part).

The option to cheat on my wife has been made available to me, but I turned down the offer, not because I did not care for the woman, but because I hate lying, having to live a lie, and because I know my wife would never be OK with it. But are those really good reasons not to give and receive love from another woman that loves you? Of course I decided they were good reasons not to cheat. But a lot of good men and women did not make the same decision I did, and I believe most of those men and women made their decision because they thought no one would get hurt, and for a lot of them, no one did.