Letters to the Editor
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Published Letters: 77 Editor's Choice: 14
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Money is an issue
[Read the article: My boyfriend has an abysmal environmental conscience]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I do more than you do, LW. I don't drive as a choice. I Freecycle what I can and buy used what I cannot. When necessary, I actually attempt to calculate the difference between organic and local and go with the most environmentally-friendly choice. I do not eat beef, no matter how it's raised. And, of course, we wash cold and line dry everything. Everything.
I could judge you, as on the surface it seems you adhere to green stylings but have yet to make the important leaps of giving up cow or the gas guzzler (at least for a hybrid). But I know I do what I do because I can -- I am a stay-at-home mother who devotes her time to environmentally-conscious house management. If I didn't have the time to scour Freecycle and come up with interesting ways to cook local, seasonal vegetables (in England!) we'd not be able to live the way we do; the money I could earn working would go to child care, transport and time-saving expenditures. Not all stay-at-home mothers do so because their partners earn big, and not all people who buy caged eggs do so because they are inherently cruel and uncaring.
I've run across those who could give a toss about the environment. Many are just financially incapable of buying organic or replacing their car or living in a house with a garden or any sort of outdoor space within which to place a composting bin. It's easier to say, "I disagree with you and back off," then wrestle with financial limitations. I hold back on the righteousness, as I know full well what kind of time and/or money investment must be made to go green. When friends with children buy non-organic milk because it's cheaper, I hold my tongue. It's still more expensive than Pepsi.
If you ended the relationship, he'd still be polluting and the Earth would be in the same state. So why don't you give up beef, pick the recycling out of his trash and start pricing a hybrid? Let him know you're doing these things to compensate for his lack of environmental consciousness. Make a real difference and maybe, just maybe, it'll make a real difference to him too.
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Not crazy
[Read the article: My fiancé suddenly joined the Marines]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Whether or not he has a psychiatric disorder no one can tell. But I can say this -- with graduation looming, taking off for a couple of years to find himself is not unusual at all. What is unusual is his return and completion; many find it hard to go back to school after a significant break and it's a testament to his work ethic and sense of future needs that he not only graduated but went on for a master's. Making mention of being a burglar isn't particularly unusual either... and had he seen any of the Ocean's flicks around that time, because who wouldn't want to be in on that grand, non-violent and seemingly victimless (rob the baddie rich, hey!) lifestyle? He didn't get a security guard job, so he never did a thing to realize that innocuous comment. And the plane? Building things is what inventors do, and thank all the gods and goddesses for them! Life is dangerous, so why not get your scars trying to make something rather than by being a passive receptacle?
I am sure there are other things that you and his family find worrisome, LW, but from what the letter says he's simply eccentric, intelligent and, above-all, young. While I think anyone who'd join the Marines is nuts, I have to say that he picked an outfit that will provide him with the stimulation he needs and force him to focus for longer than a few years. Can't quit when he gets bored, can he? Maybe deep down, he knows he needs such an irrevocable commitment and that's why he signed up.
The problem is, marriage is not the commitment he wants. Not now. And even after a stint in the Marines, I think your ideas of marital bliss may diverge completely. Signing up without warning is a deal-breaker; subconsciously, he either wants out or simply has an idea of marriage that is completely different than your own. And while you may love him, you don't sound prepared to spend your life with him -- someone like him, maybe, but not him. You're not worried for his life, or talking about missing him, but worrying about the trappings of stability. Valid worries, but... your heart seems remarkably intact for someone whose fiancé is taking off for years. Break it off with warmth and fondly remember the crazy genius you once loved but with whom you could not live.
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Head south!
[Read the article: What should we do with our $3 million?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I say go for the Mexico option. Drink margaritas, frolic on the beach and shower the locals with pesos until it's all gone.
You only live once. To quote Grandpa George from the Burton retread, "There's plenty of money out there. They print more and more every day."
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What's with these letters?
[Read the article: I went to L.A. to work in film and just got yelled at]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I don't mean to be rude or belittle the dilemmas of the last few LWs, but... jejune with your inane, anyone?