NOVEMBER 5TH AND BEYOND

Con1, founder, editor, and chief bottle washer at ConservativeOasis.com, http://conservativeoasis.com/22-things-that-will-happen-when-obama-becomes-president/2008/10/11/, posted these 26, not 22, “happenings” as a result of an Obama victory on November 4th. They are posted here with some additions by yours truly in italics:

Obama will reveal that the ‘b’ really IS an ’s’, and invite his brother back home out of Afghanistan. (His other bro, the one living on a nickle a day, or so, in that little grass shack in Nairobi, will be reunited with Barack and they will celebrate with a gallon of Ripple.)

Ear Muff sales will triple. (As will ear stapling.)

Al Gore will claim he invented the negro. ( Ya mean, he didn’t?)

Political hopefuls in college everywhere will drop out of world history political science and instead enroll in speech writing and sermon classes. (And in social reconstruction classes as Obama redistributes America’s wealth.)

O.J. will not only be pardoned, but promoted to “Chief of Stab”… I meant “Staff”… really. (O.J. could then be nominated for Husband/Father of the Year.)

Half of the remaining KKK members will commit suicide. The other half will head toward Washington, their pick-em-up trucks full of beer and bullets. (Note to them: “Washington” is the one with the “D.C.”, up there in the northeast, not the big State way up in the northwest.) (The KKK may some day be regarded as not all that bad compared to what’s ahead.)

The Secret Service will be replaced by “The New Black Panthers.” (Go Huey Newton!)

The name “White House” will be under immediate review. (What White House?)

Louis Farrakhan will still insist that the black man is held in the gutter by the evil whites and jews. (Yet, the vast majority of Jews will vote for Obama. Go figger.)

Jesse Jackson will become obsolete. Finally. Really. No, I mean it. (I doubt that. He may be named Deputy Surgeon General in charge of castration.) ...

(For 16 more prognostications, please see http:genelalor.com/)

AN APOCRYPHAL TALE? WHO KNOWS AND WHO CARES? IT STILL HOLDS TRUE.

I asked my friend’s little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up.

She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, ‘If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?’

She replied, ‘I’d give food and houses to all the homeless people.’

‘Wow…what a worthy goal.’ I then told her, ‘You don’t have to wait until you’re President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow grass,

pull weeds, and rake my yard, and I’ll pay you $50. Then I’ll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.’

She thought that over for a few seconds while her Mom glared at me, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, ‘Why doesn’t the homeless guy

come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?’ (Out of the mouths of babes comes essential truths!)

I said, ‘Welcome to the Republican Party.’

Her folks still aren’t talking to me.

Vote McCAIN/ PALIN and save such little girls, and boys, and homeless guys and ladies, from such dilemmas.

(Please visit my website, http://genelalor.com/ for more essential truths.)

ANOTHER APOCRYPHAL TALE? I DOUBT IT

A FreeRepublic.com comment on A YOUNG GIRL’S AWAKENING TO POLITICAL TRUTH

areukiddingme1 to Gene Lalor

That is a good one.

Here is how we explained to my son who works very hard to maintain a 4.0 gpa who was asking about socialism/communism:

So we explained to him, “Son, this is very simple and crude, but effective.

“You work very hard to maintain a 4.0 gpa right? After you spend two hours at marching band you come home, you don’t watch TV, you don’t talk on the phone, and you spend three and sometimes four hours working on your homework a night.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well your friend Tammy, who barely listens in class and the minute school is over for that day, she doesn’t spend one minute on homework or so much as crack a book until the next day in class, she talks on the phone, watches American Idol, and Survivor and every other “reality tv show” — and we all know she is only earning between a D or a low C.

“Well, what we are going to do — to make everything fair between you and Tammy is we are going to lower your 4.0 gpa to 3.0 and ‘redistribute’ a portion of your 4.0 to Tammy to bump her up from a 2.0 up to 3.0 so that way everyone will feel good about themselves and you will be even.”

He looked at us and said, “Are you nuts, I worked hard for my grades while she played around! Why should I be punished?”

Welcome to the Republican party, son.

(http://genelalor.com/)

RACE AND THIS RACE

No matter what you may think of Howard Stern, give a listen to these three quickie interviews broadcast on his show: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyvqhdllXgU.

Stern’s interviewer posed a few questions to Obama supporters in Harlem and deviously switched McCain’s positions with Obama’s positions.

Turns out that Obama voters back Sarah Palin as VP, are pro-life, and believe we should stay in Iraq as long as needed to gain victory.

The obvious point? Obama supporters would vote for him even if he believed aliens from Uranus created ACORN, if he believed David Duke was the Messiah, or if he had three heads–one white, one maroon, and one black.

It would be that black head that would win them over.

So much for democracy in action.

(http://genelalor.com/)