I mean her (Clinton) speaking in any way which might approximate true candor.

Let me know which one wins. I'm rooting for Femmzilla.

...That Bittergate has damaged the chasis of the Obamamobile about as badly as a bumper car hitting a Humvee.

Have we passed the Pennsylvania primary yet?

It was interesting as always to watch Hillary uncomfortably sqirm inside the epidermal of her own evil skin as she put forth her most plastic smile to make those key moments even more smarmy than most sensible and intellegent people can probably stand. She gave it her all, but when she gives, she gives small.

So how do the candidates weigh in on Britneygate?

If Obama is a wisp of smoke then it certainly should be stated that Clinton is a stale old fart. Everywhere she walks she stinks up the stage with her lies.

Needs to go to the doctor and get vetted.

...in Cincinnati. He's had plastic surgery, changed his name to Carlos, and now works at the Kwick Car Wash downtown. You intel turkeys have been lookin' in the wrong place!

Just wait till they unveil Shittergate next week!

...the Cooter Chronicles. It's just slightly less stupid, though not by much.

"Why can't Obama be a good little Bryant Gumble and just play ball with us?"

Their credibilty is their catch 22.

CHICKS WITH DICKS THE MUSICAL!

Tickets go on sale Monday!

I've heard Herman Goering's name handed around but I'm not too sure. I think she plans to open a new office of the War Czar and Captain Cody Sky Marshall of the Universe is a shoo in for that one.

...Beyond Thunder Cunt!

There's a big black hole where your brain should be. Eat shit and expire.

If you were a flaming tumble ween in hell I wouldn't lean over to piss on you to put the fire out. Fuck you and the tricycle you trucked over here on. May the bowel movement of blue monday be on your doorstep, and may you be as luckless as you are fuckless all of the days of your dim stupid life.

Meets Mr. Snuffolupocous.

That's a glowing self endorcement for the presidency.

...sure I suck a little but I'm not THAT bad.

...but while I was in the men's room takin' a wizz it fell off my lapel into the toilet, and without realizing I flushed it away. Does this mean my American citizenship is to be revoked?

..looks like I'll be forgetting about seeing this movie.

...I mean look at Iraq it's not THAT bad is it?

And that's what Catholics need to address directly. They've been selling that line since the middle ages!

Stand tall and stand firm, don't flinch and don't squirm.

..or French toast and Clintons. I don't really know which, but use your imagination and let it take you to a happy place.

There's a simple solution to the situation, don't feed the Clintons when you're on vacation.

...and other trifling issues are coming our way, these are the burning issues that will command the day.

By the way, you'd better be sure you still have that yellow ribbon magnet stuck on you're SUV, don't wanna be on the wrong side of my country tis of thee....

I was raised it but never really praised it. I split the church when I was 13. Too gothic and creepy. I'm not an atheist but I don't want a heirarchy of priests telling me what my politics should be, have I not my own eyes with which to learn and to see? About the closest I get to a Catholic cathedral now a days is when I watch an old Christopher Lee vampire movie, and I kinda like it that way.

I already feel violated by your ignorance, so don't get started with your strange analogies.

Anyway anybody could look at it, you represent the rape of reason.

Power to the Puss!

"What's hurt him."

..but WHAT stumble are we talking about here?

I don't know if your stumble will hurt you, only you have the answer to that one.

Are you even tuned into 1/10 of what most people have on their minds?

That I have had a flag pin surgically grafted to the left side of my chest...or should it have been the right!??!

Uh-uh...you gotta be playin' trick with me!

Learn to shoot straight, and stop firin' blanks. Thank you much Madame Misfire.

...should kung fu in their shorts for this one. Sounds like a real slap-kick exercise in ultra-stupidity.

I'm sure Middle Eastern countries are gonna just come scambling to ask for protection from the country that invaded Iraq. To these would be protection seekers that would be looking to buy protection from the mafia.

...and cut to Teusday. Oh, and please keep the punditry, at this point its just a redundancy.

This guy is so out of touch how can he keep and maintain a loyal readership of his ridiculous NY Times commentaries?

...just get moldier everyday.

The mother of many faces.

Why don't you AKA shove it where the sun don't shine?

Take a flyin' fuck at the moon.

The first time I ever heard of Osama bin Laden was when it was reported back in the summer of 1998 that bin Laden's terrorist organization had set off major explosions at two American embassies in Africa - in Naorobia, Kenya and Dar-as-Salam, Tanzania respectively speaking, killing scores of innocent people.

Bill Clinton responed to this terrorits crisis by bombing a sudanees pharmaceuticals factory in Sudan, and by blindly lobbing a bunch of cruise missles into Afghanistan. Neither actions produced any positive results.

But the really amazing thing is that Bill Clinton had two years to hunt down Osama bin Laden, who we would not again become again aquainted with until September the 11th of 2001.

Is this a strong resume of dealing with terrorism? Maybe it is to a dumbass.