Letters to the Editor
Heron23
Published Letters: 55 Editor's Choice: 2
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for R Fiertek
[Read the article: Marrying for love or money?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The best piece of advice I know for attracting a good person is to figure out how to be happy on your own. People can smell the desperation of wanting to be with a partner from a mile away. If you're happy in your own skin, though, you'll attract others who have figured out how to do the same, and you'll be more likely to end up in a healthy relationship.
So, figure out what you like to do, and ways to make more time for these activities. Keep busy, and put yourself in the path of people with similar interests. If you don't meet "the one," you'll still have a fulfilling life. And in the end, shouldn't that be your main goal?
You seem like a thoughtful man, and I wish you all the best.
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Thank you, Marion.
[Read the article: Party on]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Before I read your story, I didn't understand why New Orleans residents wanted to celebrate Mardi Gras this year. Now, I get it: It's a celebration of survival, of remembering how to have fun despite all the misery. Catch a strand of beads for me!
!
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Thank you to Chihuahua and June Brockwell.
[Read the article: Should I have a kid or not?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Your letters were magnificent. Bravo!
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feeling a little sympathetic towards the LW
[Read the article: My co-worker is driving me insane!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It took me a while to figure out that comments/complaints to management about other employees were not appreciated. I think that's what the LW (letter-writer) is figuring out now. I hope she'll finf ways to cope with her present situation, and do what she needs to do to switch jobs. She'll probably run into toxic coworkers wherever she goes, but it sounds like this one is especially hard for her to ignore.
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agrees with Nicki Hendrix
[Read the article: I hate your column and all the letter writers too!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Since the letters section debuted, the TableTalk forum associated with "Since You Asked" has gotten awfully quiet. I miss the indepth discussions that used to be sparked in there.
I wish only the "editor's choices" letters about each column would be published. It'd cut out a lot of the vitriol, and make this section a lot more worth reading.
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sexless marriages
[Read the article: I'm so mad at my ex I could explode!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Not all marriages end up sexless.
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agrees with raygonne
[Read the article: My big fat obnoxious former self]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Raygonne, I agree with everything you said. Bravo.
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It's "monogamy."
[Read the article: My boyfriend wants an open relationship]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]No matter what your point of view is about it, please spell "monogamy" correctly! Thank you.
We now return to the regular pro-Cary/anti-Cary broadcast.
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Scared and Sad Woman, hope you read this
[Read the article: We've got an anger management problem]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Please visit this webpage:
http://www.ndvh.org/educate/abuse_quiz.html
There's help out there. I hope you stay safe.
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a hole in the Neifi argument
[Read the article: King Kaufman's Sports Daily]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]King, if Neifi has such a detrimental effect, then why do the Cubs still suck after they got rid of him? You'd think his leaving would have given the team a big lift!
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Drinking is his choice. What's yours?
[Read the article: Can I stop my dad from drinking? Should I try?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Dutiful daughter, if you feel you need to talk with him one more time about this, and/or stage an intervention, then go ahead and do so. Your feelings and your conscience are your own, and you should honor them.
If you want to do this for your father's sake, though, try to have a pleasant visit with him, and then let him go. For whatever reason, he's decided he prefers drinking to facing the real world.
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Bravo, Cary!
[Read the article: My 8-year-old misses his old life -- should we move back to the suburbs?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Your vacation must've been time well spent; that was the best answer you've written in quite some time. Thank you.
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Bring back yesterday's column!
[Read the article: The strange case of midnight renegade oleander gentrification camouflage]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Cary,
Please put it back. My mom left on a trip yesterday, and probably didn't get a chance to read it. I'm dying to discuss how you answered the letter with her when she gets back!
The time to censor your writing is BEFORE, not AFTER, you publish it online. Forgive yourself the lapse in judgement, and put the column and letters back on Salon.com, please. Your imperfections as an advice columnist (as well as some damn good writing) are what keep us coming back for more.
Sincerely,
A reader who got her mom hooked on your column
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"Not for publication"?
[Read the article: The strange case of midnight renegade oleander gentrification camouflage]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Cary,
Did yesterday's LW send a comment "not for publication," and you answered it like it was a regular request for advice by mistake? Do you usually ask LWs if you can publish their letters before they appear on the website, and you neglected to do that in this case? Or are you ashamed of your words, and took them down because you feel they reflected poorly on you? What happened? It'd be great if you would clear this up for us.
As for the oleander situation, the idea of planting zucchini in the toxic neighbor's yard cracked me up. I do believe the LW needs to find out what the neighbor with the new shrubbery thinks about the situation, and follow her lead, though. Otherwise, she's fighting a war she has no business fighting, even though her intentions are good.
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letter writers changing their minds
[Read the article: The strange case of midnight renegade oleander gentrification camouflage]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Cary,
I'm surprised you honor requests from LWs who beg you not to publish their letters. I'm not aware of any other advice columnists who do this. If people need to write about how they feel without getting feedback about it, they can type it up in a file, or write it in a notebook, and burn that page (or a printout) if what they wrote is too toxic. I would think anyone who writes to you for advice must know on some level that what he/she wrote could be published for the world to see.
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explanation about the missing column (woman married to short man)
[Read the article: I am the keeper of secrets]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]For those of you who are still wondering what happened, there's a more thorough explanation from Cary posted on page 16 of the Letters section under the oleanders in the yard column. He's taking questions and comments there.