Who am I, what am I, where the fuck am I? Yeah, LAD sure has troubles. I mean really, being happily married, gainfully employed and owning a large home has got to take it out of a person. Look, I live in an apartment. Its a type of apartment building I swore only a few years ago I would never live in again. Yet, here I am in this ugly, boxy 1970's shoe box architecture. No charm and I cant help but think that these types of buildings have, for me at least, always conveyed the message of 'poor, uncool people live here'. Add to that I live in a small town that everyone nearby believes is (as they say) "backwards", "old fashioned" and "conservative". I live in Alameda, Ca and too many of the rest of the San Francisco Bay Area mis-perceive this quaint, quiet, clean, safe and actually very hip, forward thinking and actually more left than you can believe town. Yet I live in my "Mayberry West" town (I made that up...cute eh?) in my ugly 70's box with the man I love who is also my best friend. We share this space with our two furry toddlers. My human daughter is grown but visits often. I love it all. I love this home because it is filled with love and life. I work on making today go smoothly as possible while making strides for my future. My home is full of warmth and happiness because our lives together are going on here. My home truly is where my heart is. Someday, soon or not, I will live in a house which looks how I prefer. I know what I imagine it to be physically but now know that its what fills the house from MY inside out that really makes it feel just right. The same applies to my work and so many other aspects of my life. I'd tell LAD to let it go for now and find some other way to spend this time he has been wasting over considering it all. Give it another year but head into it with out the preconceived notions about himself and where he is. He is so busy worrying about how his life is moving along that he has forgotten to just live. “Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experience.”~Ralph Waldo Emerson

the best advice is to take care of yourself first. I know first hand that you cant cure an addiction with your love. They must hit that proverbial rock bottom to begin to understand they need help. You can try and yeah, maybe be his guide or as is most often the case you can struggle back and forth for years. A mix of highs and lows with that, the lows getting lower every time. Or you can be supportive and understanding while also doing what is right for yourself and moving on with your own life. I would have saved myself years and years of heartache and insanity if I had understood that even the love I knew I felt would never be enough for him to help himself get well. I'm in a perfect relationship now. Blissfully happy with someone who doesn't have to lie to me. Someone who is the kind of person I want and deserve. A healthy man in mind, body and spirit. The reality is you really don't know this man at all. If he loves you at all he will understand.

Remind yourself...'he wanted me to be jealous'...lame, lame, lame, but as childish as it is this is one of the strange ways men show they still care. Yeah the chick was a c*%t for doing that but you're far too mature to let it overwhelm you....right? Unless this is a reason to look at other issues then I would say...do a little bump and grind of your own for him and remind him AND you why you are a couple (oh my and twice even, bravo).

Nah...No way.