Letters to the Editor
AncientAssyrian
Published Letters: 753 Editor's Choice: 54
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Come on Cary, Don't you recognize addictive behavior when you see it???
[Read the article: Why am I obsessed with celebrity gossip?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The writer has gone from procrastination, into addiction and avoidance. And you, Cary, are enabling her!!
If she was sitting around the house getting stoned, playing slots at the casino, drinking, shopping compulsively, or smoking a pack a day, you'd have different advice.
The mental health world has not quite caught up to the concept that surfing and video/computer games can serve very well the same exact purpose as other addictive activities and substances. But they can, and they do.
It doesn't matter if she's surfing celebrities. She could be in an online chat room for coupon clippers 10 hours a day. Or posting 20 times a day and reading everything on an infertility forum. Playing game after game of Minesweeper. Or one of those MUD fantasy games where you game and chat, that go on and on.
Making it into some sort of mythological quest is just glamming up what is otherwise garden-variety addictive behavior.
Some people can surf for fun a little and still get their work done.
Compulsive, addictive people can't.
* Is she surfing to escape negative emotions? Is she compulsively surfing because she feels disappointed, angry or scared?
* Is the time in front of the screen causing emotional distress in her life
* Is the surfing interfering with daily activities?
* Would she feel lost without her access?
* Does she get a rush of euphoria when she scores any new celebrity news
* Does she feel guilty, ashamed, embarrassed or confused after spending hours surfing
* Does she ever lie to anyone about how much time she spends doing her surfing?
* Is she preoccupied with the time she wants to spend surfing
* Is she unable to control her surfing
Come on Cary. Don't you recognize the signs?
And surf-girl -- get yourself a copy of Anne Lamott's book "Bird by Bird" and a good therapist, and while we love Cary and he's usually pretty smart, do yourself -- and your writing career -- a favor, and DON'T listen to him on this one.
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Calling Dr. Freud?
[Read the article: Why am I obsessed with celebrity gossip?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Brian, Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird is actually a very helpful book for writers who procrastinate or self-criticize, or indulge in any number of unproductive activities to avoid writing. She wrote it years ago, before she incarnated into her preachier (IMO frequently irritating) current self.
And wtg22, spending "hours on imdb figuring out which celebrities were born closest to my birthday," saying "it seems I can't get enough" celebrity news, bemoaning one's "stunted creativity" to an advice columnist, and describing yourself as in a "slump" all day at work doesn't sound like "no big whoop" to me. It's not a major go 3x a week for Freudian analysis whoop, but she sounds like she could benefit from some constructive advice on breaking through the creative block, and figuring out why she is using her time to do something which she knows and admits is not constructive or creative.
Maybe it's just a bad habit to break. Maybe Cary's advice will do it for her. Who knows.
Maybe it's some sort of expression of desire to connect to mythology, or maybe she's seeking imaginary friends.
But if it's just "a couple of hours aimlessly surfing" -- why is she writing to an advice columnist about it?
(And now, I do have to get back to work!! No more procrastinating here at Salon, much as I'd like to!)
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Get Rid of the "Desperate Episcopalians" -- and give us MORE Real Life Preacher!
[Read the article: Sinfully bad TV]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I too really wanted to like the show, but hadn't read any of the reviews or anything to realize that it was meant to be an over-the-top comic soap opera primetime drama. So my husband and I got through about half of the show, increasingly amazed at how ridiculous it all was, until I realized, of course, they're trying for a "Desperate Housewives" sort of thing, except:
1. Their writing is really bad
2. It's not funny
We too decided that that the son who is gay and adopted is by far the most interesting and likeable character. Give him his OWN show and jettison the rest of them.
After wasting 2 hours on that drivel, frankly, the best thing that has come out of this all? Seeing the review here on Salon, and going over to read "Real Life Preacher's Blog" which is now in my list of blogs to read regularly.
I'm about a polar opposite to a Texas Southern Baptist as you can get (a NY born, former Catholic, now Unitarian Universalist ultra liberal in DC who lived in Texas for a few years and HATED it beyond all measure) but I think Real Life Preacher is my new hero. Somebody give HIM a TV show, because the evangelical/Talibaptists/fundamentalist/born-again/wingnuts need to be hearing what THIS guy has to say!!!!!! And maybe if there were more voice likes his, and less like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, we wouldn't be having the red state/blue state cultural and religious wars and mutual disgust.
Salon, please make REAL LIFE PREACHER a regular at Salon!!!