Letters posted here are associated with the following Salon Premium Member:

djbollman

Published Letters: 366
Editor's Choice: 13

Thursday, January 5, 2006 11:38 AM

For every woman who damages herself trying to be thin, thousands damage themselves

indulging the tendency to be fat. So why does the relatively rare event get all the attention? For one reason and one reason only: because being thin is about trying to be sexy and appeal to men. If INCREASED pressure to be thin were to cut a significant chunk off of the fatties overall public health would likely improve, even if anorexia and bulimia increased. Of course the goal should be health for everyone, but fat should be seen as the medical problem that it is,like drug addiction or alcoholism, not a battlefield in the sex and gender wars.

Thursday, January 5, 2006 11:44 AM

The ONLY way education, success and money are problems for women is

that they make the available men seem less appealing. The confusion arises because education success and money don't make an unnatractive women attractive, like they do with men. Because all men are unnatractive to women without these things.

Thursday, January 5, 2006 12:13 PM
Original article: Howard Stern: Prudish papa

And if this were my sister / mother / daughter in this situation..."

So the goals of feminism would be met if men stopped having sex, or wanting to have sex, with women. A lot of men suspect this, and a lot of women deny it, glad the truth has finally come out (unless you are recommending sister/mother/daughter sex)

Thursday, January 5, 2006 12:31 PM
Original article: Howard Stern: Prudish papa

Nobody wants the world to see their daughter nude, and nobody, hopefully,

wants to visualize their daughter having sex, the two things are variations on the same theme. This does'nt mean that doing either of those things are wrong, and it certainly doesn't mean that these emotional reactions should form the basis for our understanding of how the world should be organized. Taken into account yes, determinative, no. Is prudery so ingrained that people can't understand this?

Thursday, January 5, 2006 12:36 PM
Original article: Howard Stern: Prudish papa

Daughers having sex and being nude aren't wrong, fathers wanting to visualize

their daughter having sex is defintiely wrong, I assume most people could figure out what I meant but I just re-read my post and I guess the language was ambiguous.

Thursday, January 5, 2006 01:31 PM
Original article: Marrying for love or money?

Men are desperate to impress women with their accomplishments

so men try very hard to attach high status to whatever it is that men do, and lowering the satus of "women's work" raises, relatively, that of their own. This has often worked, but I think there is reason to belive that it won't work in the future.

Thursday, January 5, 2006 01:54 PM
Original article: Marrying for love or money?

The low representation of blacks and the low representation of

men were/are not caused by the same thing and are not equal or anyting close to it in their severity, but why is that an argument against acknowledging a problem and trying to figure out what is going on? What IS the same about the two situations is that some choose to insist that there is no problem, or that if their is it is entirely the responsiblity of the "problem" party.

Thursday, January 5, 2006 02:37 PM

This is the point, men don't require

any of this from women, if they have it great, if not great, either way attractive is attractive, or not.

Thursday, January 5, 2006 04:36 PM

The fact that women are willing to date musicians who think,

and who the women think, are going the be a rock star in no way invalidates my argument. I doubt that your brains made you more sexually attractive than your looks alone would have, maybe you were more interesting to talk to and spend time with in general because of your smarts. I think generally that telling a woman she is plain is a way of telling her he doesn't really find her attractive, especially since in most cases he wouldn't be sleeping with her after telling her that.

Thursday, January 5, 2006 04:56 PM
Original article: "In Praise of Men"

The reason you can't find it is because straight men define their gender

in relation to their sucess with women, so there aren't any discussions about gender specifically that men would be interested in other than those that relate to mens realations to women. There is no real male analog to the feminist identify of many women.

Thursday, January 5, 2006 05:22 PM
Original article: Marrying for love or money?

If you really care about men why is focus on who women are likely to date/marry

Because in every article I've even seen on the subject there is a minimalist description of significant male educational underperformance followed by voluminious discussions of the bad effects this might have on women, so it's a little ironic that the existence of a discussion totally focused on women's well being and totally ignoring that of men as the only available venuse for discussing the issue should be cited as evidence of bias against women.

Thursday, January 5, 2006 06:43 PM
Original article: "In Praise of Men"

the maleness of men is invisible

it sure in the hell is, god i wish i could complain about the other gender drooling over me the way women complain about men doing it to them. I'm not that attractive but I sure in the hell am as attractive as some of the women who complain about "sexual harrasment", if men that ugly could get a woman to sexually harrass them it would make their year.

Thursday, January 5, 2006 08:17 PM
Original article: Marrying for love or money?

This is no doubt good advice

but it needs to be understood that womens minds and bodies, but not mens are designed to shutdown, or at least slow down and wait, sexually when things aren't going well. For a man it's like saying to a hunger person getting hungrier, "don't think about food"

Friday, January 6, 2006 10:45 AM

Yeah, yeah

I guess that settles everything, BTW the census proves that men can't afford not to take into account womens' income when marrying, it says nothing about the innate attractiveness of various people to other people and what influences the formation of that attraction.

Friday, January 6, 2006 11:04 AM

I should have said, education, success, etc

sometimes makes men attractive, I didn't intend to say it always did. I don't see how anyone can honestly deny that an average in every way man will have worse luck with an average in every way women, than the other way around. It's not men who constanctly talk about how there aren't any women good enough for them, it's not men who list long lists of the necessary accomplishements, or potential for accomplshment that they require. It's not men who choose to live without sex rather than lower their standards far enough to get whatever they can. Be honest

Friday, January 6, 2006 11:42 AM
Original article: Marrying for love or money?

Society needs to come up with something better than

don't do anything to offend or challenge or annoy any woman ever if you ever want to have sex as a message to boys as to how they should live if the situation is ever going to change.

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