Letters to the Editor
Bollinl
Published Letters: 17 Editor's Choice: 5
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Join something connected to your beliefs/values
[Read the article: I'm wasting my semester abroad watching TV in my apartment]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]This advice went by to some extent, but is worth repeating.
Find a group of people working on something you believe in. Maybe that's a volunteer group. Maybe it's a church--churches are often extremely welcoming to people who are new on the scene, and if you select one that meets your theological stance (whatever that is), you may find a really interesting avenue into the lives of actual people who live there.
Youth Hostels are really interesting, and you'd meet lots of people from all over the world. But not people who actually live in the city (I assume) where you are currently.
I spent a year abroad in Oxford now rather more years ago than I'd care to admit. ;-) I became heavily involved in a church there, probably not quite the theological stance I have now but quite comfortable then. It was an opening into people's homes and lives, and helped make the experience really meaningful for me. Churches are of course designed with plans to integrate new people into their worldview, but I suspect the same level of welcome could be found in lots of volunteer-oriented groups too.
Oh, I also played contract bridge (this was the 80s not the 50s, however!)--but any game where they're often looking for an extra player might offer a similar in.
Good luck! I remember how horrifically lonely I was initially--I wanted to go home for the winter break, and my father would not let me. I'm something of an introvert, so reaching out to make connections was terrifying and painful. But truly--my year in Oxford continues to be one of the most remarkable experiences of my life. Not all good, not all bad--but memorable and life-altering. You'll get there. 1 month in is still early.
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Procrastination and ADHD
[Read the article: Help! I'm committing professional suicide!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]OK, so it may not be that perpetual procrastination is always an ADHD symptom, but it certainly can be. Medication is not the only way to address ADHD.
But saying "Well, maybe it's ADHD" can really help to stop the blame-game that is also paralyzing. And I strongly disagree with the commenter who said that ADHD must have been clearly manifest in childhood problems--I did fine in school, all the way through a PhD and tenure, and then found I had no real motivation without the pressure of failure hanging over my head. I had used anxiety to motivate myself--the fear of failing if I let the procrastination that dogged me take over. For me, a non-stimulant ADHD treatment has helped me go ahead and DO what needs done, rather than having such a huge hurdle between doing and not-doing-yet.
But there are ADHD coaches who provide--for pay--what Cary is recommending. It might be hard to get one on board quite as rapidly as the LW needs, but after that--why not? If income isn't the problem, an ADHD coach can provide the outside executive function (the technical term for that sort of getting stuff done, recognizing priorities that many ADHD people simply do not have internally) the LW clearly needs. There's an advantage to paying for that function, too--it's an awful lot to ask of a friend, b/c it's not necessarily going to get better. Friendships burn out over that neediness. But an ADHD coach, regardless of the actual diagnosis involved, might really take care of the situation long-term. Google ADHD coach and see if there is someone nearby--otherwise, many work by phone.
Me, I use lists, and a PDA that lets me check off a task I've done today but then pops it back at me for tomorrow when the task is recurring. Heck, I've got alarms set for tasks that other people just remember. But that's how I cope with the probability that I otherwise wouldn't be motivated to function. Finding what makes it possible for the LW to work--that's the critical thing. Definitely a discussion with a doctor, maybe medication or cognitive behavioral therapy or both, probably an ADHD coach for the near and middle term . . .
Sometimes saying "Hey, maybe this is a disorder, and it can be *fixed*!" provides the motivation to do what needs done to solve the problem! (Otherwise, I'm afraid the LW will just keep procrastinating . . . Hey, get the coach first, and then have the coach talk you through the talk to the doctor etc.!)
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Clone = after-the-fact twin
[Read the article: FDA disregarded results on food from cloned animals]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I just don't get why someone would be anxious about cloned food--does the FDA notify us when a particular calf is born a twin? That's just a "natural" clone (assuming an identical twin), and it's totally not an issue.
Cloning livestock represents other threats--it minimizes the disease resistance of the herd by reducing the genetic variety of that herd, and could result in a loss of biodiversity in the form of certain genetic traits. Those are concerns. Those warrant sustained conversations about ethics and genetics.
But unless you want to be 100% sure you're not eating twins either, what's the deal with clones?