Letters to the Editor
Biff Barkley
Published Letters: 17 Editor's Choice: 1
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Evangelical Apple-istas
[Read the article: Why Apple fans hate tech reporters]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Dear Farhad,
There is also a corollary to "Mossberg's Doctrine of Insufficient Adulation". I call it Barkley's Law of Inertia".
This law states that: "For every problem, an Apple owner will posit that there is an equal and opposite remedy that owning an Apple will provide".
Let me give examples.
- 1. Perhaps I'm working with some colleagues and I mention in frustration that my PC is running slow. One of my Apple-owning friends will immediately chime in that "If you owned an Apple, you wouldn't have that problem".
- 2. Let's say I'm in a coffee shop working by myself on my PC laptop and I say under my breath, "Darn, why can't I get on this Wi-Fi network?", a nearby Apple-evangelist will say, "You could get online if you had an Apple!"
- 3. If I'm in the airport, talking to a colleague in a private conversation and mention that I think that the government should do something about campaign finance reform, an Apple-Nazi from two gates away will slide over, butt in, and say something like, "If Apple was President, we wouldn't have these problems".
OK, that last one has never happened. But it feels like it has. And I move to strike the "N" word I used on the grounds that it's argumentative and inflammatory. Jury, please disregard that last comment.
But really, just recently, I was remarking to my girlfriend that extreme Apple zealotry is only marginally less offensive than the religious variety, to which it has been compared ad nauseam.
I'm sure many a grad student has done a dissertation on the psychology of the "underdog" Apple user vs. the real and imagined Colossus that is the majority of computer users and their confounded machines. Us vs. Them. Right against wrong. Beta vs. VHS.
Unfortunately, Apple is Beta in the last example: It actually is better, but in this world of lowest-common-denominator mass-merchandised computer products and the Microsoft juggernaut, Apple could suffer the same fate as the long-gone Sony video format. But Apple has managed to out-Sony Sony!
If it weren't for Apple's higher profit margins, Steve Jobs' brilliance, and very cool product design, Apple would have gone the way of the other ill-fated proprietary formats Sony has tried to shove down our throats: Elcaset and the ATRAC-only audio player.
BTW, don't remember the Elcaset? Google it... Ebay... no bids. Only useful if you are piecing together a museum of useless audio recording formats.
OK, I digress, and I've taken enough of your time.
Grad students, the term is almost over... get to work. On your Apple Powerbooks, of course.
And, finally, my next computer will probably be an Apple, too.
Note to Apple fans: Please don't hurt me! These comments are meant for entertainment purposes only. Similarities to people real or fictional are purely coincidental. And, yes, your odds of winning are pretty good - if you own an Apple!
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Charlie Rose... Interupting His Guests? Please.
[Read the article: What can and cannot be spoken on television]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Glenn, it is not mathematically possible for Charlie Rose to "interrupt far more than normal". He interrupts almost 100% of the time now, so "far more" would bend the time-space continuum.
And, may I say, yours is one of the most valuable voices in our time. I could extol your virtues ad nauseam. Please don't give up the good fight.
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What's Good For The Goose...
[Read the article: McCain defends comments about Hamas, Obama]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Salter: Obama "used the words 'losing his bearings' intentionally, a not particularly clever way of raising John McCain's age as an issue," Salter said on Friday. "This is typical of the Obama style of campaigning."
A) If this can be construed as an ageist comment (and that's really stretching it), how is this any different than McCain pinning a Hamas endorsement on Obama in the first place?
This is an elemental irony that no one has mentioned yet. Maybe it's so obvious that no one thought it deserved mentioning.
B) If the Hamas thing is of interest to voters, so is McCain's past-retirement age! Why doesn't anyone bust these hypocritical charlatans!
C) And if Obama's comment was an ageist dig twice-removed, I believe Salter has put his foot in his mouth by connecting the dots for any of McCain's slower, more ancient supporters. But in all fairness, they should be aware that it's possible that their candidate may just drive off in the Buick one day and never come back.
And then where would we be? With President Romney?