LW here...Again, I appreciate all the responses. Adelito, I believe, asked the question about drug or alcohol use, so I thought I'd respond and offer an update.

My wife has suffered from depression before. We both decided on couples therapy, and yesterday had our first individual sessions. In my session, I basically vented and explored what was going on with me emotionally in response to my wife's behavior. I also outlined a number of facts so that my wife couldn't BS the therapist, elements of the story that had been omitted in our first session. Granted, 50 minutes isn't a long time. But my wife, and I've always known this, has quite a capacity for suppressing painful emotions. The therapist informed me that people can indeed erect very strong walls to isolate themselves from painful emotions. I acknowledged my anger and building resentment. But that if thought my wife were making an honest attempt to face herself, that I would be there to help her through it.

In my wife's session, my wife said the therapist concluded she was suffering from depression, and may very well need to be on meds pretty much permanently. She's had a bout before, as well, very crippling. I've seen this therapist before, and she's very effective.

After the 'separation conversation', I told my wife that if she walks out that door, it's over; I'm not doing a separation, we're either working this out, or attempting to, or it's done. She bactracked, and then told me she realizes she has some mental/emotional blockages that she can't get past. She's agreed to keep working with the therapist, and is going to do hypnotherapy with her. I did this, and found it very helpful. My wife was warned that hypnotherapy will not recover suppressed memories, but nonetheless could indeed be a rather painful experience.

So, although I know this is going to be drawn out process, I've prepared myself for that. I may indeed have offered forgiveness too readily, and I've since been drawing stronger and more definitive boundaries, and that seems to be working, insofar as she does seem afraid of being cut off from the marriage. Who knows what this really means, but I'm willing to work with her because I know she needs help. If things don't work out (and in response to concern about the children, I'm taking every step possible to maintain as much normalcy as possible and insulate them as best I can. No emotional outbursts, no fighting, no cheap shots or cutting remarks in front of them) then I will know that the marriage is truly beyond redemption, and that will bring a measure of peace to me insofar as healing and moving forward goes. No "what ifs" or looking over my shoulder. It might sound strange, but I do believe I'm doing this as much for myself as for her.

And from all I can see and feel, the affair, such as it was, is, I believe, over. And believe me, I remain as suspicious and vigilant as one can be. If I do discover anything to the contrary, she will indeed be shown the door post haste. This isn't an open-ended amnesty. I'm not going to allow things to drag on indefinitely because I do want to protect myself and my children. But I do want to give her a chance to face herself and her problems, and if I'm seeing a good-faith effort in response, then I'm willing to give her some time.

You're a jerkoff. If you want to be cute or clever, sign your real name, take credit for being a class act.