This is a great opinion piece, and I agree with nearly all of it. However, what we liberals around here must come to understand is that the mechanism of changing this country has to be through tactics that heal, not tactics that divide. And sometimes this means being a parent to an child. And sometimes that child is us.

Mr. Kamiya’s piece is essential absent of this, but there is an undercurrent of anger, I believe. I believe the anger is appropriate, and I also feel it. Hyperlinks that highlight “The cretinous Ann Coulter and Michael Savage play to this crowd” suggest a name-calling fear that might be similar to those this article seeks to enlighten.

Mr. Kamiya astutely points out the nature of fear and the response to fear. We were attacked on 9/11 and many of us were very afraid … people were killed, what could happen next … so some sold the idea of "play(ing) the role of the angry, righteous avenger" as Kamiya writes. And he continues to describe the powerlessness to raise a questioning concern:

In the Hobbesian world of the conservative imagination, the big club rules, and he who puts down the club will be brained by another unfettered troglodyte, be it a communist or an "Islamofascist."

This is the nature of fear and the response to fear … sometimes. When one is threatened, or perceives threat, some of us revert to more infantile, black-and-white, and underdeveloped strategies: puffing up our chest with vitriol, and squashing others who are not 100% “with us.” Children, who lack emotional development, respond in this way. Adults, those rare ones with emotional intelligence, can respond with understanding, empathy. These adults can lead change by modeling it. Those of us with children know that to yell at your child and demand that they calm down is absurd and ineffective. Another tack must be taken, and that is where this website: its editors, its authors, and its readership … must … come together. Even when we are “attacked” … even when we are “right.” The bullies are afraid, and feed on the fear. We must rise above.

I feel deeply angry when I see mass propaganda delivered by our government and consumed by our population, sometimes without question. I don’t like what I see down the road. I am afraid of our future. And this is how I am exactly like those seeming emotional children who lead our country and trumpet war. Mr. Kamiya summarizes this fear brilliantly:

Like a vibration that causes a bridge to collapse, the 9/11 attacks exposed grave weaknesses in our nation's defenses, our national institutions and ultimately our national character. Many more Americans have now died in a needless war in Iraq than were killed in the terror attacks, and tens of thousands more grievously wounded. Billions of dollars have been wasted. America's moral authority, more precious than gold, has been tarnished by torture and lies and the erosion of our liberties. The world despises us to an unprecedented degree. An entire country has been wrecked. The Middle East is ready to explode. And the threat of terrorism, which the war was intended to remove, is much greater than it was.

I invite all of us to do whatever we need to do … to ground ourselves … to recognize and address our fears in a healthy, adult way. I believe this will inspire others around us. To coin a phrase co-opted by some of those fearful on the right, but with meaning … what would Jesus do? What would Gandhi do? What would Martin Luther King, Jr. do? What should we do?

I have plenty of friends who have open relationships, and who are grounded, sane, and happy people. They mutually agree upon how their relationship will work ... and those that are truly enlightened also agree (implicitly) that they-cannot-predict-how-life-will-unfold ... and so they choose to love each other in the most supportive and open way possible. This means that if one person decides that they want to leave the primary relationship because they believe they will be more fulfilled and grow more as a person or be happier with another, they bring their primary partner into this conversation and process the feelings together. The "immorality" described in this piece, I believe, is solely around the element of deception. However, this deception stems from the inaccurate belief that there is only one way to be in a primary relationship ... and that is born out of antiquated fear.

Ms. Price, I believe unknowingly, embodies this fear when writing:

Personally, I find the idea of marital infidelity so upsetting that I wouldn't mind grabbing some of Alibila's clients by their lipstick- (or cologne-) smeared collars and yelling, "If you're fucking someone on the side, buy your own goddamn flowers!"

Both parties have emotional development work in this situation. If a person wants to be primarily connected to another and wants to have sex with others ... he or she should feel able to express that ... and before taking "vows" to the contrary. The other person, who wants an exclusive primary relationship and finds a partner that does not, might consider a response of understanding and love, instead of fear-based vitriol. Betrayal is only really in the eye of the beholder.

But, the issue more likely stems from the fact that marriage and its vows perhaps seem to be the only options available to many couples. It's like an unconscious ride that goes unquestioned by far too many ... like "when I am adult, adults get married in a church and then they have children." Isn't it time we expanded the options available ... to make them more accurately reflect people's diversity? Isn't this blog a place to lead that sort of change and advocate for it? If so, I believe Ms. Price has failed in this regard by trumpeting the standard responses: fear and anger. And I encourage her to examine how she is triggered and fearful, and why. I encourage all of us to do this.