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I also have a very dark shadow that has tried repeatedly to draw me across the line between life and death into the netherworld; apparently, this is a personality trait that I shared with at least one of my brothers. The dark shadow of my youngest brother snatched him away in March 1987: he put the muzzle of a Model 1911 A1 .45 caliber automatic pistol into his mouth and pulled the trigger. I almost lost my father in April 1987 to that same dark shadow (that .45 caliber pistol was Dad's old USAAF sidearm). (That .45 caliber pistol was given to the city police with instructions to destroy it.) I try to pump light, bright light, into my mind on a daily basis. Fleetwood Mac, Heart, John Serrie, even Frank Sinatra, swirl around in my mind to keep that shadow at bay. At my weekly Dungeons & Dragons session, I invariably play clerics who worship deities either of the open air or the sun; thus, I can keep images of the open air and the bright sun in my mind constantly. This dark shadow first attacked me in 1975 and I have been fighting it ever since. I am currently 55 years old and when I eventually die, I intend to take this dark shadow away from this world with me. I care not where I go, as long as this dark shadow never haunts another person.
