Keith, if this is your quote, you are a certified genius. I shall be oft repeating this one, like mantra. Brilliant!

..and left there.

I agree with your chart showing the quality of the Star Wars films, with one difference. My friends and I agreed that Attack of the Clones is worse than Phantom Menace. You see, we can remember what happened in Phantom Menace. When we try to discuss what happened in Episode II, we end up with "Obi-Wan went to a water planet, there was a big Jedi battle, ... Yoda used a light saber ... that's about it."

...about the numerical order being (almost) steadily improving.

Of course, the more perspicacious will be asking, "OK, tell me again, WHY do we have these first [sic] three?"

Tis a little harsh, no? Granted George Lucas is a hack who got lucky ONE time then had better people write and direct Empire and Jedi. (As proved by the wrestched quality of 1,2,and 3) But to condemn Star Wars in general is a little too far reaching. Like Mr Knight I disavow Juvenile Menace, Attack of Bad Acting, and Revenge of the Shit. To a certain degree I disdain Return of the Plushies. He doesn't care about making movies... he cares about selling toys. To that end, yes, to the hells with George Lucas. However I like Kevin Smith. He's got a lot of wit and I respect that. A couple of his flicks I didn't care for, including the vaunted Dogma, but others have been vastly entertaining.

...the last two MATRIX, PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN, and ALIEN movies also don't exist as far as I'm concerned. La, la, la, la...:)

My friends and I agreed that Attack of the Clones is worse than Phantom Menace.

Yeah, but...

That whole fight scene on Camino (like the car? I always wondered) with Obi Wan and the Jango Fett (Django? Does he also play a mean jazz guitar?) was pretty badass. It was pretty cool to see the origins of the Baddest of Badasses (I pretend his ignominious girly death-shriek didn't happen -- with all the post hoc editing they did, couldn't they have just taken that out?)

And also that truly bizarre clip of Anakin when he's staying at Padme's summer cottage on planet Whatever and he's having a nightmare, but you only see him from the chest up, shirtless, eyes closed, tossing his head and moaning. The entire audience sat up a little straighter when that scene happened and one brave soul finally said out loud what we were all thinking: "Is Darth Vader getting a hummer?"

I always enjoy this strip, but every once in a while you thrust us into Hyper-Dork Mode and suddenly ... I don't feel so alone in the world.

Please run more Keith Knight. His strip is a bright spot in a fading Salon. We need the Keef's passion on a more regular basis!

Come on, try your hand at writing a script for the show.

We know you can story-board.

"Is Darth Vader getting a hummer?"

I laughed so hard at this I had to fake a coughing fit to keep my boss from finding out I'm not workin' so hard on that Excel report.

Brilliant!

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I am not a stoner - but Keef, if that Talking Yoda Bong was real or ever came into existence, it would be the coolest movie merchandise item of all recorded time.

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Random FanDumb Menace trivia: which actress quietly played the ringer double for Natalie Portman's Queen Padme in the first prequel?

Anyone know?

The first person to answer correctly gets a licensed Jar-Jar Binks tightey-whitey (or granny panty, for the lasses), equipped with an audio loop that screams, "Mii-sa go dump-dump NOW!!" every time you pull the waist down.

is that if the original "Return/Revenge of the Jedi" idea had been kept to, and not the kiddie marketing schlock it became, that movie would have been probably as good as the "first" movie (not Phantom Menace). It probably never got past drawing board, but still... a planet of Wookies would be far more dangerous to the Empire than a bunch of teddy bears. Sound familiar? That's cuz ewok is a corruption & shortening of wookie. By the later/earlier movies Lucas recognized he had burned off a lot of good will and at least partially returned to better ideas.

Also, the reason Empire was so good was so little Lucas was in it. Leigh Brackett (and this is a point of contention) more or less wrote the screenplay, and if it hadn't been for her sadly dying of cancer in 1978 she might have gone on to make Return at least as good.

You can see where Lucas (and I suppose Kasdan) saw her "we're all related" schtick and went with it regarding Luke & Leia, despite the fact that earlier scenes made that... relationship... uncomfortable.

I think you're being waaaaay too optimistic when you believe that Lucas would release his death-grip on creative control for the TV series. The guy has proved himself as not working particularly well (Spielberg is a rare exception) with others.

This latest SW offering looks like pure dreck and I have little hope for the TV series.

Random FanDumb Menace trivia: which actress quietly played the ringer double for Natalie Portman's Queen Padme in the first prequel?

Anyone know?

The first person to answer correctly gets a licensed Jar-Jar Binks tightey-whitey (or granny panty, for the lasses), equipped with an audio loop that screams, "Mii-sa go dump-dump NOW!!" every time you pull the waist down.

Keira Knightley! WTF??? I just found that out. How is this not hugely known information?

Generally, although, I, too, have to put Episode 1 ahead of 2, not only because 2 sucked all the way through, but 1 did have the Darth Maul/Obi-Wan/Qui-Gon lightsaber battle that kicked more ass than ... well ... EVERYTHING ELSE about the rest of the 3 prequels combined.

Star Trek: much better.

I'm not a huge Star Wars fan, but I was so disgusted with the three prequels that I made sure to see the whpole sequence again when it was on television just to ensure that I wasn't suffering some kind of weird "Franchise-Rage".

Even with hindsight they're truly terrible films. Being a Gen Xer I don't believe it's possible for me to view this as any kind of credible 6 part saga. I just can't buy it. Maybe you're younger Gen Ys can.

I agree with Keith that a live-action television series could be good - especially as some of the best drama has been made by TV talent in the last few years. But I also agree with the comment upthread that Mr Lucas would have to loosen his iron grip to allow some of this talent near his creation.

Episode 1,2 and 3 is the work of a man who disagrees with more or less everyone that he's is destroying the Star Wars Universe.