Letters to the Editor
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Hilarious!
Actually, these don't seem all that far beyond the realm of possibility. But I can't imagine all the PETA celebs letting that petting zoo go unprotested. "How would you like it if you were kept in a pen and a bunch of reindeer came up and put their paws all over you all day?"
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Sorta reminds me of the...
...animated Doonesbury TV special made about 20 years ago, where an announcer reads "...and the part of the baby Jesus will be played by a 40-watt light bulb."
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Paying women to give birth in a nativity scene??
Now come on Keith. That one is made-up. If not made-up by you, someone is pulling your leg.
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Throw down!
Show me the URL for that tall tale! Right now!
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David Bainbridge- I'm calling The Chronicles K...kinky!
Perverse- Please-
The Harlem Boys choir sings: Fleas Natividad?
Then the Bedford Stuyvesant poor boys are drawn with kinky hair and blue eyes?
Keith K- Some of the dessert mountain boys in Southern California- at the very moment, are out gathering seasonal part-time Gloom&Doom Santa's and his partners to make sure you get your liver fed to the barn rats.
Baby jests, Ramos, Hosea, and mobster moses are asking Mother Goose and Mary Magdalene to kiss you so much, so long, without mercy, and guarantee that you are smothered and drowned in slobber.
Santa is not as perverse as Keith. Santa can give you a hog nose transplant or a humming bird penis for this week's Spirit of seasonal anti-perversity. Get some deodorant for Mr. KK will you Gloomy Santa?
I'll go pray to baby Jesus to ask Mother Mary to intercede in all our behalf? David Bainbridge for a new seasonal Prey-Santa! D.B. is not perverse or sacrilegious.
Pray for quietude. End bad bush breath and prattling speeches. Lard- We ask for baby rattle snakes for those who hate, and are mean-spirited. Let's Pray mean people come back to Earth as scabies on neocon's crotches?
O, apologies if I've sinned? No No- Do I want to lose my two green and yellow corn looking teeth? No. Holy succotash.
Merry Everybody. A merry heart is some darn good medicine. What a blabbershere. O, if Merry Mary from Ontario is out there...Howdies. I want a buffalo for having met Merry Heart Mary in Kentucky. huh? Shoo! Hush up! okay. Mary? O, Bison. a secret code? yep. innocent.
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Keef hits it out of the park again!
What he said for southern California also goes for life here in south Florida as well. Everyone here over compensates due to the lack of snow.
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May warm weather just fries the brain.....
Hell's Liberal beat me to it, yes, Florida has wacky decoration for Christmas. Maybe places like Texas and Louisiana also?
So, make the most of it: A few years ago I was driving up I-95 at Christmas when I heard a radio station in North Carolina announcing a Christmas charity food drive. In return for your contribution of non-perishable food, they would take you on a bus tour of the tackiest Christmas decoration displays in town, the ones that use enough electricity to run a smelter.
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Oops
Sorry, I meant "Maybe" warm weather fries the brain. It's been in the 80s here.
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Live birth?
You're effing kidding me. Women take money to give birth in a nativity scene? I mean, I'd heard people in California were weird, but this defies belief. Let's see the source.
chillin in VT
--Valkyrie
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I'm an Angeleno...
...so maybe that's why I caught on that these displays exist only in the mind of Keith Knight (especially the live birth -- I mean, yes, it's LA, but c'mon!).
I admit, however, that I did actually google "Balinese Quail Eggnog". But only because I hoped it existed, not because I believed it did. Really.
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you can mock all you want BUT
there is nothing like a palm tree festooned with lights and tinsel. I so miss the strange visual that is Christmas in the SouthLand.
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See some here!
http://www.uglychristmaslights.com/
Actually a few people in the Southland do something useful. a well-off family in Westlake Village used to have a display that took all of October and November to put together. They had collection bins for Toys for Tots along the sidewalk. Eventually the whole thing got out of hand with the neighborhood clogged up with traffic and they stopped, but it used to be a regular trip for us to go over there and gawp at it.
Well done Keef on starting out sort of plausible and then progressing to the almost surreal!
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South Texas too...
the good citizens of San Antonio always go overboard on their Christmas displays. Though no one has yet given birth in one.