Letters to the Editor
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Wow.
Keith, did you really do that? If so, I truly envy the size of your cajones. But you're lucky the guy didn't have a gun under the front seat...
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laughing so hard I spit on my screen
I'm almost but not quite bold enough to start carrying my own tomato. Viva la wake up call!
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I threw a half-eaten bagel at a car once
After the driver almost ran me over in the cross walk. Then, to complete the tableaux, he screeched to a halt in the middle of a four-lane road, spinning his car into the other lanes in the process, got out, and very carefully said "Fuck you."
I pointed at the cross walk sign and told him I had his plates. I didn't--the spinning had actually obscured them from view--but his demeanor changed and he left in a hurry.
I fondly imagine him wrapped around a tree somewhere. Given his driving, really, it's not so much imagination as wondering when it happened.
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Bozo with a horn
Keith,
You are my hero! I can't count the number of times I've had to sit and listen to some zero and his freakin' horn.
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That's illegal some places
Throwing an object at a car is a felony in Virgina. I'm a pedestrian 99% of the time and boy would I love the freedom to hurl a tomato at some drivers. I live in the city because pedestrians actually get some respect there but we have so many suburban drivers who venture in and have no clue at all what it means to be outside their vehicle.
Get in your car, drive, enter building, reverse, repeat.
They must feel invulnerable to manners because they're willing to risk running over innocent people just so they don't miss the first few minutes of their favorite sitcom.
At some point it's going to get to the point where you need to have a car just to get any respect at all. Boo to that future.
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Welcome to the Southland
Unfortunately, horn-leaners are a common thing in LA. Horns are used plentifully in my hometown. Tomatoes sound like a good antidote. But beware, not only are horns common in the Southland, so are guns (cf. LA Story).
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Awesome!
Awesome!
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Oh hell yeah!
Oh hell yeah!
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Vacation?
Keef must be on vacation, cuz I've seen that one before. And it's one of my favorite of his or anyone's!
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Not in Raleigh NC
You need the horn to remind the moron in front of you to put down the crackpipe and/or 40 and stuff their cloven hoof on the gas pedal of that stolen minivan. Because with 8 minute red lights there's no telling when you'll get another shot at crossing the intersection.
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Know what?
I car pool almost everyday with a guy that’s a horn honker. I have tried to understand what motivates this behavior, and have decided that it has to do with his inability to understand the other driver's motivation. All he thinks is “I don’t see what the problem is you dumb f**k, so get going!” HONK, HONK, HONK. I know this because that what he says some times. He also has a very short temper, and in his younger years used to get into fights, (but doesn’t anymore so he’s told me, after he wound up in the hospital for a month and then had to face a charge of battery).
My best advice when you encounter someone such as this - say a little prayer that he be more patient and understanding and also that he didn’t run you down, ram you, or try to beat you up, or shoot at you.
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What a
...waste of a good fresh tomato.
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If throwing a tomato at a car is illegal:
Carry a can of spray paint with you while crossing the crosswalk!
Or, a can of Wasp & Hornet spray which produces a terrifying 20-foot stream of foam, but unlike the paint, will wash off. The possibilities are endless.
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Never drive behind a Buick
Especially a white one. Because Oldy McAlzheimer is driving 35mph under the speed limit in all three lanes at the same time. And if there was a button I could push, send her rumpled old ass to the Great Hereafter in a blaze of IED, I would.
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Road Rage
I knew road rage was contagious, just did not know you could catch it outside of a motor vehicle's driver's seat. Throwing items at persons, even if they are on the inside of an automobile is assault in many places, felony battery in others and just plain dumb everywhere else. You should have left that tomato throwing impulse in the realm of fantasy, Keith.
Next time, look hard at a jerk like this, wait till he or she sees you and then lower your eyes and shake your head in disgust. It is surprising what a powerful message that little bit of body language can convey. Especially if you ignore the miscreant and walk away afterwards.
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I moved to LA from NYC.
In any given year in LA, I hear approximately the same number of horns being abused here that I would hear in five seconds in NYC, which is to say maybe half a dozen. It's still annoying when it happens, but it's hardly a big deal.
If this story really happened, though, you are lucky you weren't shot or run over. Both of those things happen a lot more frequently here than the horn-honking.
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Mitch Hedberg quote...
From the late, great Mitch Hedberg:
"I think we should only get 3 honks a month on the car horn, because people honk the car horn too much. 3 honks, that's the limit. And then someone cuts you off, ffffft, you press your horn, nothing happens. You're like, "shit! I wish I wouldn't have seen Ricky on the sidewalk!"
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I'm not sure if I applaud the act (if true)...
... but it made for a satisfying cartoon. I'll stash Keith's action under things I'd like to do but never will.
For whatever reason, getting behind the wheel of a car does seem to turn many otherwise sane, decent people into impatient jerks. I got a secondary chuckle out of this cartoon because it reminded me of the last minute of the movie Election.
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In a Hurry to get to his Accident
Horn-blowers, like lane-weavers and bumper-crowders, are in a hurry to get to their accident. If they don't shave a few seconds off their travel time right now, why they might be late for their accident, or even miss it entirely.