Now I want some bacon

"Bacon, the food of joy." (from "The Partly Cloudy Patriot")

A lot of people think the idea of luring vegetarians to break their dietary vows is quite funny. In my 18 years without meat, many people have been delighted to tell me stories of vegetarians who slipped, cheated or broke down. Some omnivores seem to find this appealing because it makes vegetarians more like them, and because there is a widespread belief that vegetarians don't eat meat partly to lord it over omnivores and to feel superior. I'm sure some do.

But for many of us, vegetarianism is part of a system of ethical choices that we live by because we see the issues involved as imbued with moral relevance. There seems to be a lot less humor directed toward the idea of an Orthodox Jew breaking the rules of kashrut and eating shellfish, for example, or at a Muslim eating pork or a Hindu eating a hamburger, because there's an understanding that their dietary choices are a deep part of their religious beliefs and are essential to the fiber of their moral code. They may also look down on those who eat foods forbidden to them, but it's expected that those of differing religions believe their faiths are superior, and I've heard very few people joke about that. Yet people like me whose dietary choices are based in ethical beliefs that are just as strong as those of religious folk but who do not base our lives on a religion are often the butt of jokes that seem to stem from widespread resentment against vegetarians.

Have so many people really had such negative interactions with angry vegetarians who put down their choices to eat meat and militated against them? Or have they seen a few on TV and heard of them anecdotally, and so they carry hostility toward vegetarians on principle? In my years as a vegetarian, I've heard stories of vegetarians shaming omnivores, delivering diatribes, or making scenes in restaurants or in people's homes, but only in works of fiction or in third-hand stories. I've never witnessed it personally. I've never been around people who got ugly about their vegetarianism, even when it is profoundly rooted in ethical and moral principles. What's the source of this characterization?

I wonder where the joy in watching vegetarians fail to follow their principles comes from, and where these legions of supposedly nasty vegetarians who make omnivores feel such distaste reside. I've never met them. Could it be that some omnivores feel a little more guilty about eating animals than they let on, and that their pleasure in seeing vegetarians succumb to desires for the taste of flesh is because seeing vegetarians fail makes them feel better about their own lack of effort to eat less meat? I'm not trying to be nasty, I'm just wondering where this comes from.

You win the humourless vegetarian doesn't get the point award

Even the vegetarian dishes there include bacon in some form.

I had a veggie pal at university, who figured if he ate healthy vegetarian, it would minimize the harm he was doing to himself with other substances he was ingesting. But I digress!

We were talking about his veggie-ism, and he said that the only thing he really missed was bacon. A nice (typical English) fried breakfast with bacon... He trailed off, then cracked up and said, "I'm salivating now!"

Bacon is the CANDY of meat.

It's true, it's true! When I became a vegetarian, bacon was the second to last thing I gave up (never did stop eating sushi once or twice a year). Fish, chicken, beef, 'regular' pork, yeah, they're tasty, but I can totally live without. But bacon and sushi .....

Fake bacon is disgusting.

Veggie Bacon (for Facon) isn't so bad if you cook in a frying pan. And did you know that Bacos are vegetarian? Sprinkle away!

I think a misconception about vegetarians is that we are constantly, secretly longing for meat. The truth is that most vegetarians have no desire for meat whatsoever. Saying we constantly long for meat would be like me saying that the average omnivore secretly longs to eat dog, and that given the chance he would jump on the chance to chow down on cooked dog because it just tastes sooo good.

It's not funny. We're grossed out by meat, and Lola's right, we're not all longing for meat. Nor do we find it funny to hear stories of "Hahaha, I slipped some bacon into my friend's vegan casserole." That's disgusting. Would you call a diabetic who avoids sugary foods "humourless" for not finding a joke about their condition (or secretly craving a deep-fried Snickers) funny?

I am a vegan who never pushes it on anyone, and yet people think it's okay to make fun of me for it or try to "break" me. I'm not okay with torturing an animal to death so I can eat its cholesterol-laden remains, and thinking that "deep down" all I want is a steak is like telling a lesbian that what she's really craving is a good old-fashioned screw from a manly man.

Marbled with fat and loaded with grease, bacon is about the last goddamn thing I'd ever want to put into my body. Laugh it up, snarky meat-eaters, and when colon cancer comes a'callin', I'll remind you to lighten up.

Hey fellow bacon lovers, if you are ever in Texas there is a chain called Rudy's Barbecue. They have 3 choices for brisket: lean, regular, and extra moist. The extra moist is like the beef version of bacon. The fat just melts in your mouth. I could never give it up.

To reduce the effects that meat production have on the environment. I would also love to see many many many more people using public transportation.

I hope nobody minds if I stay with the driving and meat-eating crowd. There won't be too many of us, and we won't make much of a mess. The rest of you, go buy a bus pass and a vegetarian cookbook. Thanks