Psssstt!

The hyenas are terrorists. Pass it on!

Since the adviser informs Charley "There have been zero American deaths by hyenas in the last...forever!

Maybe it's gay marriage.

The hyenas are in congress.

:)

Pay no attention to the unemployment rate. Pay no attention to the healthcare crisis. Pay no attention to the second mortgage foreclosure crisis being brought on by job losses, not to mention the credit card defaults and lack of insurance coverage. Pay no attention to the fact that the big financial institutions seem to think their purpose in life is to hang onto enough taxpayer and/or investor money to keep their executives in ludicrous salaries and bonuses (rather that actually investing or lending money in actual, job-producing companies). Pay no attention to global climate change.

It's those....? Whatever the flavor of the week is on weasel news that we have to stop from destroying this country! With 60 senators, probably the "socialio/fascist" Democrats??!!

That's it! The hyenas are... SOCIALISM!

Whatever.

You know, take the fight to the source? Bomb the Savannas? Smoke 'em out?

Too crude? Too predictable? Too passé?

I have this magical anti-hyena rock!

All you have to do is repeatedly bash Muslims over the head with it, and voila! No hyena attacks! (Everyone knows that while not all hyena sympathizers are Muslims, most Muslims are closet hyena sympathizers.) I've been using it ever since 9/11 and it's worked spectacularly well.

Not all Muslims are hyena sympathizers... but most hyena sympathizers are Muslims.

Ahh well, perhaps a bit too much of the Merlot tonight. You get the idea: bashing Muslims is our magical protection!

This stuff he's talking would have been better paired up with Bush's insistence that Saddam Hussein had WMDs and was in cahoots with al Qaida.

Or even Bush circa 2001, where he was touting tax cuts we didn't need for reasons that didn't make sense.

Today, though, the message kind of gets lost on me.

Certainly that's in North Africa, where the Hyena Coddelers have done nothing to prevent this tragedy, but how safe is the U.S. really?

Did you know that so called "conservationists" have brought numerous these killers to American soil? Did you know that in zoos across this great nation we are actually, providing food housing and medical care to these monsters who senslessly kill 50 humans every year!

Sure they say we're safe, that the zoos are kept locked and wild animals almost never escape, ALMOST never? Almost never might as well be Allways ever!

We must do something about this now before we like North Africa suffer the horrors of Hyenas running wild in our streets.

He's my congressman!

Or, I wish he was. He seems to be taking more action than the one I currently have. As far as I can tell, my congressman has been dragged away by hyenas.

P.S.: This isn't necessarily about terrorists, anti-Muslim extremism, or anything else. Just about the way people in Congress seems to get distracted with various personal issues.

Don't over think it. You know Charlie wouldn't.

Among the larger animals Hyenas kill more people in Africa than every other animal except Hippos. I always get a little chuckle every time I hear about some rich white asshole who treks off to Africa for a photo safari only to be devoured by some furry or not so furry animal. Yeah in the US? Who cares. Even bears - there's only been 135 fatal bear attacks in North America in the last hundred years. But I suppose that's just another thing for you folk to feel guilty about; all your progress and shit.

We now expect a full-blown television interview of Congressman Charley!!!! Oh Mr. Bolling, please please please...?

Third actualy. Humans are the number one killer of humans in africa, then hippos, then hyenas. So why is charlie soft on hippos and humans! We need to eradicate both of those first!

Microbes are actually the #1 killed in Africa. But they're not white western and capitalist so we can't hate them.

Huh?

was there a point to that rant?

It's not a fully-worked arc until someone gets to say

"We have to fight them over there so we don't have to fight them here."

I thought it was just a joke, or at least an exaggeration, until I saw a doc on the Viet Nam War in which there was a closeup of some GI -- a very young GI -- saying that exact line to the camera.

I guess Santayana was right.

The real question then will be whether the pol / pundit / @$$hole saying it will be a Publican, a "sensible liberal," or a "moderate," "centrist" Blue Dog Dem (but I repeat myself).

The hyena is atavistic fear itself. Australopithecine Charlie is the ultimate conservative, his "good old days" are millions of years ago.

The joke is that atavistic fear rules us all, and blinds us.

Conservatives have more atavistic fear.

Funny, no?

Mr. Tomorrow is onto something. But the hyenas will prevent from ...

Sarah Palin

you are thinking of Tom Tomorrow, not Tom The Dancing Bug...

As for me, we do have coyotes eating house pets here in Denver, and lynch mobs looking to shoot them....

Is the mosquito (although only some species).

The second most dangerous is probably the tse tse fly.

Both of these are probably almost as dangerous to humans as humans themselves.

The hippo is way behind.

Microbes aren't animals.

The malaria they carry kills people

His (correct!) argument is that the emission-reduction efforts by western countries are futile acts of economic suicide, given the refusal of China, India and other 3rd world countries to get on board.

appearance at the end was a nice touch.