Letters to the Editor
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Nate would never drive a Beetle.
Too small. Too liberal looking. He'd drive an Escalade if he could afford it, a Ford Exploder or a beat-up Winnebago (like Mitt Romney's kids) if not. Anyway, part of the neocon creed states that everyone must have an SUV. It's more patriotic than those pinko Euro-trash convertibles or rice-burning Scion things he and his friends have heard about. Besides, you never know when they have a sale on toilet paper at Sam's Club.
Oh, and he wouldn't be caught dead in a Starbucks. Also too liberal a setting for neoconservative digital thought. While his mom's basement would be more accurate, Planet Fitness might be more appropriate. He wouldn't have to actually exercise and get all sweaty, just hang out with his laptop while wearing his gym gear.