Letters to the Editor
verbalista
Published Letters: 6 Editor's Choice: 2
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Desperate in Suburbia
[Read the article: I Like to Watch]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]As one who spent agonizing teen years in the suburbs, I can say with absolute confidence that what "Desperate Housewives" needs to fully capture the horrors of these cultural wastelands is someone (a new caste member/denizen of the Lane)living there, who is not one of them: the orchid growing among the impatiens. Only through the eyes of an intellectual, eccentric, impassioned outsider can this kind of area be shown in it's true(beige)colors.
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They don't get it
[Read the article: What's the best method for a painless suicide?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I know someone with your disability, outsiders just can't understand how intractable the problem is.
Anyway, read Anne Roiphe's "Final Exit". If I have the name of the book wrong, just look up Anne Roiphe in the search on a book seller website.
Wishing you joy, truly, but barring that, resolution of your predicament.
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Where?
[Read the article: Let's have a revolution! Does July 14 work for you?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]If anyone actually defined a place for such a protest, I guarantee that hundreds of thousands would appear. So many of us are in mourning for our planet, for the human race, that we'd come forward (though it's too late, unless some miracle of inventiveness and renouncing of greed can restore the ozone layer, the ice floes, the rain forests; current appointed legislators show no sign of a thought for those concerns that will not deeply affect them personally). We would need a very large place, accessible to those with limited funds, or perhaps a coordinated effort in each major city of the world.
Perhaps Ms. Lamott's plan is a bit toooooo passive, I mean, unless there are banners, there won't be photo "ops", no photo ops=no press. No press=no results.
To paraphrase an old philosophic question: if a protest occurred and no press came, would there actually have been a protest?
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Anne Lamott, don't despair!
[Read the article: My son, the stranger]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm a grandmother now. But, I raised 3 children who were teenagers in the 60's, so this is from the horse's mouth: make this time in your relationship with your son A BEGINNING. It's hard to think of him as another adult who is residing in your home, hard to relinquish the role of guardian and teacher, BUT, unless he asks you for teaching, he will resent it for a while.
If I had been in your situation, after he messed up the cars I would have washed them myself, with passion. I would have tried to do it where he could see me, I would have left them where they would gleam before him.
He knew he was wrong. He knew that besmirching the cars only compounded his wrong. You've put enough conscience and thoughtfulness into him. He will pass through this stage, necessary stage, to become a whole individual, not dependent on you. This change was as predictable as when he grew his second teeth, as when his voice changed. It's hopeless to try to hold onto your old role in his life.
So, you can tell him how his behavior makes you feel. You can suggest what he might do. But, now he's like a boarder of whom you are very, very fond. That slap was your last try to exert power...that phase is done. Your man/son will have to learn to manage, you can play backup, you can bask in his accomplishments. It could be a few years before you see what he has become, but, the only way to lose him is to hang onto your former role. BTW, I'm a big fan of your work.
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This isn't just about breast milk
[Read the article: Breast bullies]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]There are many well-off mothers with careers who decide to have babies, then stick them with nannies and into daycare as soon as possible (ten days after birth or so) then they can brag that, along with their houses in the country, their "Beamers" and the tummy-tucks that they included in the voluntary Cesarean sections they scheduled to fit into their social lives, they now have a child (of course, this child will be pronounced "brilliant" and promptly enrolled in the status nursery, lessons in music, a foreign language, gymnastics, etc.) These kids will not be breast fed, because Mommy's perky boobies might droop, how would that look on the nude beach at St. Tropez? I revile these women and think they should all have to take psychological tests before being allowed to bear children. Actually, I have a much worse fate in mind for them, too dire to post here.
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Go for the golden land
[Read the article: We left paradise for the suburbs]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I understand that you want to be close to your lovely family. That's clearly important. But, everything else of which you spoke is eminently possible back in your paradise. Your community of colorful friends is still there. You can have children, cats and a garden there, here in Manhattan,some apartments have garden space in their courtyards. You just need to find the right digs for those things. You can visit your family every year, or twice a year. You can be together on the internet every day, get a webcam and be looking at each other as you chat by voice (all within the cost of your internet connection) and hear your loved ones. I live 3000 miles from 2 of my grandchildren, yet we feel as though we're right in the moment with each other.
Why live in a cultural wasteland? As far as anyone living can know for sure, you get one life. It goes by fast. Live it!!!