Sorry Rachel, but your complaints about the misery of summer in NYC fall pretty flat. So you're hot and sticky and have no interest in going to barbecues (apparently her friends don't know what a grocery store is or how to grill something that it's cooked). Your large breasts prevent you from doing anything physical or wearing cute little sundresses. Friends have the audacity to plan vacations and not stick around to mope with you.

Allow me to call "bullshit" on these complaints. I'd lived in NYC most of my life before moving out to Long Island and I had always loved the summers. I loved taking a little time off from work and killing an afternoon in Central Park where it was always about 5 degrees cooler. I could go down to South Street Seaport and visit quaint little shops (mostly chains now, sadly) and having a cold drink at one of the waterside bars at night with friends. I could walk aimlessly about the city, ducking into stores when I needed a dose of AC, or visit museums and galleries.

NY has a great deal to offer for summer entertainment. Decent public beaches are a subway ride away. You can take a Circle Line cruise around Manhattan and enjoy the breeze for a few hours. The Greenmarkets are getting in the local peaches and berries from the tri-state farms. Of course, that does mean actually leaving your apartment and going outside.

As for your friends, maybe their new activies should be a cue to you to actually find a life for yourself instead of "cocooning" yourself in darkness like a toadstool. Vacations don't have to be extravagant or cost a fortune. Hell, local tourist destinations like the Poconnos and Lancaster Co. PA are begging for visitors and offering all kinds of discounts. Even a weekend away from home can make a world of difference. But that would mean actually getting out and planning something instead of sitting at home bemoaning how your friends have abandoned you.

If you think that NY is bad during the summer, try Paris in August where most places aren't air conditioned and the locals flee to the beaches in the south. Or Tokyo which turns into a humid cesspool. Or Las Vegas where you simply give up on doing any outdoor activities after sunrise. NYC is a summer paradise compared to them.

So stop bitching and try to have a little fun. Buy an AC for the apartment and get yourself out of the house and into the sun for a few hours. And large breasts certainly should not be an excuse to hate summer. I used to be a 42FFF before I had a breast reduction and somehow, I managed to survive. I was able to wear a bathing suit (look on the internet, they're amazingly easy to find now), and with a good bra I was able to wear tank tops, summer dresses and whatever else my little heart desired. I ran, swam, rode horses and went white water rafting.

Sorry to have absolutely nil in the way of sympathy, Rachel. I do get the feeling that you would somehow manage to suck the fun out of any situation.

You have nothing to be ashamed or embarassed about. Masturbation is a perfectly normal sexual behavior for both men and women and the internet has made it easy to find readily available wanking material. The fact that it was kinky porn (bondage? hardcore S&M? bestiality?) means little unless it was something illegal (bestiality?). If you're old enough to run your own business, you're certainly old enough to have your own kinks.

Your mom will get over seeing her little boy with his pants down around his ankles tugging on his dong for dear life. Just like she had to get over the time when you might have walked in on her with your father/her boyfriend/her girlfriend in bed. You weren't scarred for life by seeing that and I doubt that she'll be tormented by the sight of you forever.

However, in the future do take some basic measures to ensure your privacy. Lock the door and put up a do not disturb sign. Do that whenever you are working in your office on a regular basis and she won't necessarily start associating a locked door with automatic masturbation. Better still, give yourself time to pleasure yourself when she's out of the house (a great opportunity to treat mom to a movie and lunch) or after she's gone to bed.

You'll survive this, and so will she.