I find something rather distasteful about someone who is so clueness and naive about the adoption process writes an essay like this. Instead of doing their research they picked the nation that they would adopt from on the basis of an interest in yoga and liking Indian food. That is the basis for selecting a vacation destination, not where you will adopt an infant from.

The health and well-being of children up for adoption is based soundly on the kind of healthcare that people can expect there. The mother who relinquished this little girl (unwed, which can mean anything from a teen-aged rape victim to a sex worker) probably recieved nothing in the way of prenatal care, especially from a rural region. One of the best orphanages in India is still probably a far cry from the kind of facilities that we in the US would find acceptable. There is no way to know without going there and seeing things up front yourself, something Gross and her husband did not do.

I don't doubt that this child had some disability, but without having the child examined physically by a doctor, will Gross ever really know if these were crippling disabilities or something that with time, care and love might be overcome. A friend of mine adopted a toddler from Russia that was discovered to be suffering from fetal alchohol syndrome, and it was very difficult for them at first. Their daughter was unable to bond with them, was slow to learn and had behavioral issues. But they got help, and their daughter got therapy and she's now a healthy and happy grade schooler.

I would be more understanding if Gross had gotten on a plane and then seen that this child had disabilities too profound for her to handle. That is understandable, and I can understand her guilt at not going through with the adoption. What Gross lost was not a child, but a fantasy of a child. A child that she knew only through a photograph and that she imagined while dining in an upscale Indian restaurant. Her dream of a perfect, beautiful exotic child was gone.

Parents of children with disabilities will always tell you how difficult that life can be. But that with love and support, life can be pretty wonderful for them all. This is something Gross will never know, and never gave herself the chance to know. She'll never know if this child was so bad off that they would not be able to handle her. They will never know what became of this little girl after they rejected her. I understand her decision, as it's a human one. But I find her rationalizations pretty shallow.

I really do hope that the child she is pregnant with is healthy because I honestly do not think this woman has the ability to cope with anything more. And this will be one that she can't just reject out of hand because it's too difficult.

After reading so many letters and seeing so much rancor within the Democratic party, I'm starting to have genuine fears for what will happen in the general election. I am especially disturbed by some of the comments made by Obama supporters that they will under if she wins the nomination. Some said that they would vote for McCain (if he's the Republican candidate), others will sit the election out. I just need to ask any of them if they learned a single thing from the past eight years under Bush.

The results of elections are not just about making a point with your vote - there are real life, painful consequences. I know a lot of people who voted for Nader because they wanted to send "a message" about the two party system. They didn't see Al Gore as being any different from Bush and knew that even though Nader would certainly not win the election, and that Bush would very likely win, they case their votes for Nader. What resulted was a needless war, the decemating of our economic security, the Supreme Court tilted now heavily to the right, a setback of years in getting a handle on our environmental issues, the assault on our civil liberties... the list seems painfully endless.

The point that I'm trying to make is that there can be huge consequences to voting for an "ideal" when there is no chance for that that candidate can win. Nader supporters were all too quick to discount the differences between Bush and Gore, but we certainly know better now. And make no mistake in thinking that the Republicans, for all their bickering right now, will not fall right into line behind whatever candidate squeeks out a victory in the primaries. And don't fool yourself into thinking that selecting Obama will render the Democrats immune from the Republican slime machine. Don't forget how they were able to make Gore look look like a sanctamonious egghead against the more congenial Bush, or how they managed to turn support away from a genuine war hero (Kerry) in favor of a draft dodger who never finished his time in the reserves. No matter who the Democrats pick, the right-wing machine will be read and waiting to chew them up and spit them out.

However difficult and sometime ugly the primary process becomes, it's critical for those who believe in the basic ideals of the Democratic party to come together after our candidate is selected and support them every step of the way. Because while a few religious conservatives might stay home if their candidate isn't "ideal" the rest will surely come out against whoever the Democrats put into the fight. Unless we want another four years of Republican incompetance in the White House, we need to stop acting like a bunch of school kids and vote with our heads and much as our hearts. Otherwise we might as well just hand them the keys to the White House and give up now.