Letters posted here are associated with the following Salon Premium Member:

SB

Published Letters: 445
Editor's Choice: 19

Thursday, June 14, 2007 11:41 PM

If it is at all possible....

Leave. Seriously.

When he inevitably gets in trouble, he will use his manipulative talents and charm to pin the blame on you, and most likely will be believed. Even if he doesn't get in trouble, he may well decide to cut you down because you know too much. If you don't reveal his true character, he can get away with whatever he pleases; if you do you've done something unethical that he can use against you. Managing this situation will take nearly as much time and energy as your job, and a sucessful outcome isn't guaranteed. My experience with such people is that the only good way to deal with them is to put great distance between them and you, so unless there's some prospect of him not taking the job at the last minute, you'll have to be the one to make tracks.

Without revealing any details, can you simply & quietly explain to your bosses that you were this guy's therapist (or whatever), and that it would be unethical and unhealthy for you to work with him in any way? Maybe you could seek a transfer? I know it sucks, but in the long run, you'll be better off. Even if you weren't his therapist and had learned that he was a sociopath thru other means, leaving would still be the better option. The ability such people have to corrupt everything around them is astonishing.

Let's exaggerate a bit: your workplace is Germany, he's Hitler, you're Jewish. Either get rid of Hitler, or get out of Germany. Really, how well do you think this fellow would have done as a NAZI? Reading between the lines of your letter, you've described a dangerous man whom you cannot fight (except by being truly devious) and about whom you cannot raise an alarm.

Maybe you'll be OK, but it sounds like a choice between selling your soul (ratting him out), having it crushed (staying), or leaving. Maybe you could do as Ken Erfourth says, if the organization is big enough for the both of you, but when/if the shit hits the fan, people won't like that you did nothing to stop the sociopath! Can't you just say "Hey, that guy lied on his resume!"? Guess not.

And is there no professional association for this unspecified theraputic profession of yours from which you might seek advice?

Wednesday, June 13, 2007 11:01 AM
Original article: And babies make 16

6,601,409,262

6,601,409,335

6,601,409,513

6,601,410,016

http://www.census.gov/ipc/www/popclockworld.html

Tuesday, June 12, 2007 02:15 PM

Borderline Personality Disorder

A good book by someone who understands BPD would provide more insight into Diana's life than Tina Brown's book, it would seem. Some people call it a label, but I dated someone who that label described very, very well and I have no doubt that Princess Diana was also pretty much a textbook case - the drama, fear of abandonment, jealousy, lies, abandonment by mom, manipulation, risk taking, etc, etc, etc. It seems to run in families; in my crzyXgf's and in Diana's; and there seems to be both nature and nurture components.

I don't mean to be simplistic and just stick the label 'BPD' on the dead Princess, but it's like a Rosetta stone; understanding typical BPD behavior makes Diana's behavior comprehensible.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007 12:00 PM
Original article: Why women stay with abusers

KaitlinB,

one should always pull their own head out of their own ass before advocating that others do the same.

When you've gotten your head unstuck, please explain rationally how you disagree with AKA Smith's opinion. I find Smith's opinion to be generally reasonable. On the other hand, your opinion about Ms. Lloyd's attitude of superiority and condescension is itself steeped in an attitude of superiority and condescension, and doesn't add much to the discussion.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007 04:01 PM

a minor point...

One might substitute 'corporate' for 'U.S.' -

All U.S. fast-food franchises operating here, not just Starbucks, make women stand in separate lines. U.S.-owned hotels don't let women check in without a letter from a company vouching for her ability to pay...

I don't know how much differently non-U.S. corporations might behave.

Friday, June 1, 2007 12:12 PM

Hope?

Sorry, Andrew, there's still no hope. We're still doomed.

Thursday, May 31, 2007 11:55 PM

Contractors vs. Contractors?

Oh, they'd LOVE that. They'd charge full price and then play paintball all day. They'd have to use real weapons to generate the appropriate number of civilian casualties, though.

Friday, May 25, 2007 09:50 PM

Let's see then...

If an Iranian missile goes astray, it lands in Europe.

If we shoot down an Iranian missile over Europe, it lands in Europe.

If we fail to shoot down an Iranian missile over Europe, our missile lands in Europe plus maybe the Iranian one too...

So then it's in the EU's best interests to make sure Iran's missiles work properly, is that right?

Friday, May 25, 2007 01:29 PM
Original article: Protect your private bits!

I'll second that one...

Was that quote intentionally ironic? Or is Sandra Miller living living somewhere that little boys don't get circumcised?

I'm not too fond of Freud in a lot of ways, but I do wonder how it affects men to be mutilated like that (usu. without anesthesia) at such a young age.

Most Active Letters Threads

530

Do Obama officials know what his Afghanistan plan is?

What explains the completely contradictory statements from key aides on a central plank of the war strategy?
408

America's regression

It's almost impossible to find a nation with as many torture advocates as the U.S. has.
332

Palin: Birthers have "fair question" about Obama

Of Obama birth, the ex-governor says, "the public is still, rightfully, making it an issue" (Updated)
128

Is my kids making me not smart?

Stay-at-home fatherhood dulls my intellect to a nub. Excuse me while I ponder the subtext of "Hippos Go Berserk"
126

Trig, the anti-abortion straw baby

Sarah Palin's son is being used to demonize pro-choicers

View all »

Letters Help

Currently in Salon