many five year olds ARE taught about masturbation, but, sadly, what they are taught is that this very common and natural act is dirty and sinful. They're taught that everything in their pants is sinful and must be avoided...until they're married! Then it's all magically beautiful and wonderful.

It's so filthy you should save it for the one you love the most!

Let's make a reality show wherein Michael Vick must learn to survive with the same options and opportunities that a non-famous black felon might face upon leaving prison. From there we might learn that not all 'second chances' are created equal and that there are thousands and thousands of men convicted of non-violent crimes who will never get even 1% of the 'second chance' Michael Vick has been given.

Michael Vick hasn't been given a 'second chance'. It was never a matter of him having done his time and moving on. The Eagles signed him for the very same reasons they would sign anyone else, I doubt redemption had anything to do with it.

What Vick did sickens me beyond belief, but that's not what bothers me about this whole fiasco. There are men and women in prison without an ounce of cruelty in their bodies, people convicted of much lesser crimes. Upon release they will never escape from the shadow of that conviction and those that are yelling the loudest about forgiving Vick, accepting that he's done his time and we should move on are the same that would so easily say, "if you didn't want to ruin your life you should have thought of that before you committed the crime" to any of the other anonymous ex-cons out there.

The guy and I are in the middle of buying a house and dealing with all the paperwork, inspectors, signatures, and stress involved. We were getting understandably crabby with each other then I read this.

and then i read the comments.

This is by far the funniest set of comments connected to a Salon article in a good long time! "OH NOES!! THE JELLO-O!!!! MORE LIKE HELL-O AM I RIGHT??"

That unassuming red brick sitting there on the plate, jiggling almost imperceptibly...little do we know...IT HAS EVIL ON THE INSIDE!!

pffft, that's not evil, that's a grape!

p.s. Truthfully, I loved your story. I remember being that sick as a kid, even the Jell-o waged war on me.

it's the fornix! The area surrounding the cervix, it expands quite nicely. If your man is pounding directly into your cervix it takes only a slight adjustment of the hips et voilà a much better fit.

And I'd like to high five EuroReader, it is indeed an erogenous zone for many.

mind the time delay, space plays havoc on communications

Awesome post! Not only do you imply that women and homosexuals demand lighter, stupider fare on television but you also say that you are cut from a wholly better and smarter cloth.

Kudos to you! Life is grand on Mars, ain't it?

Faux Whore indeed!

What would I have pope John Paul II do? I'd have him keep his nose out of the situation completely. It's not even tangentially any of his business. These women were not his followers, they were Muslims, they were not asking his opinion.

Perhaps if he felt the need to share an opinion, he should have maybe shared an opinion along the lines of "don't rape people" to the christians who committed the acts.

But of course the catholic church has proven again and again that it will forgive the rapists, but not the one who try to help the victims.

For every one of you that would take away a woman's right to choose, you also would lose any right to choose. Period. When a pregnancy is forced to be carried that baby becomes yours. It will just show up. Yours. God's precious little gift is going to show up and you get to raise it. Don't want it? Does not matter, you don't get a choice in the matter. Now you get to feed it every 2 hours, get it vaccinated, make sure it grows up healthy and happy...oh and also try to maintain whatever life you had going on.

But you're responsible? You took precautions? Well, it's pretty damned obvious your magic sky man doesn't really give a damn about who receives his precious gifts, even those women in no position to be responsible like the mentally ill or the victims of rape! He's a little willy nilly about dropping this gift on people, so you should feel blessed holding that little surprise bundle of joy.

no choice. you don't get a choice in the matter. The infant is now yours regardless of your circumstances. yours.

But really, Roe v Wade was not about choice, it was about the government staying well out of the relationship between a patient and a doctor. So, let's do away with that and let public opinion and god make these decisions. God saw fit to bless you with the gift of a limp wiener? Well, no viagra for you! Don't want that cancer? Well, better see what god says about you treating that precious gift with dangerous science and choices!

I come from a long line of pragmatic norwegians and if there's one thing I learned from them it was "mind your own business". Unless you're going in there to lend a helping hand, offering to carry the burden for this woman, you are every bit as irresponsible and cowardly as the woman you would condemn with such words.