and I really do think its wonderful that sex-reassignment surgery can result in orgasmic genitals because I always did worry about that.....

Women don't have vaginal orgasms. The erectile tissue that is capable of orgasms is clitoral and most of that structure is subterranean (which is where the vaginal orgasm myth partially originated). If Jamie Clayton can have vaginal orgasms that does not make her more woman than woman, that makes her unique. (And bless her for it.)

If you're a woman who is reading this and you're thinking "Wait a minute I've had vaginal orgasms, she doesn't know what she is talking about!" You should grab a ruler and measure the distance between your clitoris and your vaginal opening. If the distance is an inch or less then thank your lucky stars, and realize that, yes Virginia, your orgasms are still clitoral.

If you don't believe me look up Marie Bonaparte's pioneering work.

.....about aborting children who test positive for downs in utero. I tested positive for downs. Or so the graduate student doing the testing thought, and he told my mother that, at 39, she had some a very bad thing by getting pregnant. He told her that I was facing a quarter million a year institutionalization for the rest of my life. Both my younger sister and I graduated from college and will be going to graduate school ourselves soon.

I am vehemently pro-choice, and I would probably think very long and hard about bringing a child with significant birth defects into this world myself. But I think we should all recognize that science is not perfect, and people expecting to see a certain outcome can warp the results unintentionally. It would be a mistake to rush to judgment based on one test, second opinions are crucial.

Just look at the case of Josiah Sutton in Texas.

First off Cary, that was a beautiful dissection of what happens when someone you're romantically involved with does not actually like you or consider you his friend. I had to walk away from a lover like that once out of self preservation and as much as it hurt it was the only thing to do to make myself safe from his friends.

Its the first half of the response that I think is flawed, as a matter of perspective. Why do you think children have a natural ability to stand up for themselves to bullies? Most children are paralyzed by fear and self-doubt when faced by a group of bullies, they are not natural champions. This is why we have parents and teachers to protect them and keep the peace. This is why keeping children quiet about abuse is often as easy as making a strong threat while looking them in the eye.

She does not have to go back to some primordial state of perfect self esteem (frankly I don't think it exists), I think she has to move forward to the time in adulthood where you are no longer easily intimidated.

The whistleblower, the gadfly, the hero, and the strong woman who calls out the sexist pig are all adults. This is a behavior that is learned.

To the LW, it won't feel natural, it will hurt like a MFer, but if you can walk away from this sad little boy and his douchey friends you'll feel ten feet tall when the next bully comes along. It will have been worth it.

Normally I don't post twice, BUT, this is getting silly.

Why are so many people here counselling a woman to develop self esteem by beating up on herself?

Thats the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Beating up on yourself does not increase your self-confidence or sense of self worth, IT DESTROYS THEM. What you are trying to do is make sense of the situation by fitting it to the "just-world-hypothesis". It's the cognitive DISTORTION that tells you bad things only happen to bad people (therefore I'm safe because I'm smart and good). It is FALSE.

The truth is that she is young, inexperienced, and was raised in a society that is biased against her and her credibility. She should not be expected to automatically know what the right thing to do is when someone who claims to love her fails to do so, she can learn. She is learning. Quit beating up on her for making a mistake.

PS: LW, I don't think you need therapy either. You aren't pathological, just inexperienced. Good for you for reaching out.

Idiot, cretin, lame, leper, douchebag, dumb, mongoloid, spastic.

Retarded (development) was supposed to be the nice inoffensive term for idiot.

All it will take for developmentally disabled to become a new insult (or differently abled for that matter) is to be said with a sneer on a playground within the next generation, and we'll be inventing a new euphemism.

For the same thing.

Hint, the word isn't the problem. It's the people using it.

I hate to break it to you but the rule of thumb being the width of the stick you were allowed to use on your wife was in print in a legal code in england. You can look it up. I'm sure it was also used for boards (as well as everything else that needed measuring and regulating), but this particular use is a matter of historical record.