It's amazing to me that an intelligent person like Joan Walsh could take offense at the self-evident statement that "something is lost" when a woman works. Did Caitlin Flanagan say that nothing is gained? I don't think so. She said that something is lost, and certainly from the perspective of one's children, that is the case: time with their mother. (Assuming we're talking about preschool-aged children, which apparently we are.) Does time with one's mother matter to a young child? Well, yes, can't we agree on that? Is an hour or two in the evening equivalent to a day of companionship? No, I don't think so. So what's your problem, Joan?

Unless you want to seriously argue the ridiculous idea that a nanny or day care center is "just as good" as a loving parent at raising a child, your refusal to concede Flanagan's point betrays a degree of defensiveness or dogmatism that is quite unbecoming. (And if a nanny is just as good as a parent, why stop at 10 hours a day?)

I have to say, Cary, I don't really agree. You acknowledge the value of denial. Denial can be a good thing. You assert with no evidence that the depression is likely to recur. I don't see this as a given. Being unemployed is an objectively stressful and depressing situation. There's no reason to assume he will ever be unemployed again, and no reason to assume he will ever get seriously depressed again. Why obsess about a problem that isn't there? The boyfriend demonstrated his ability to get his life together and move on. I think the LW should move on as well. Depression is treatable and the time to treat it would be while the man is actually depressed.

Dear Lori,

The ad campaign isn't directed to you, so please ignore it. It's directed to all the women who could breastfeed but choose not to.

If you were an illiterate peasant in India with no access to safe drinking water, would you be up in arms against people telling you that dirty water puts children at risk? I don't think so.

Are YOU up in arms against clean water campaigns in developing countries? After all, the people who have no choice but to offer their children dirty water might... FEEL GUILTY. But I don't hear you complaining about that.

Perhaps we could agree that a parent's guilt (misplaced or not) is usually pretty small potatoes compared to a child's lifelong health.

The truth is the truth. Formula places children at risk for poor outcomes, and parents ought to know that.

If you did all you could to breastfeed, you did all you could. You need not feel guilty, and I'm sorry if you do.

But I have to say that, in my view, your feelings are less important than the basic biological need of children for human, not artificial, milk.