Looking through all the previous responses, I haven't seen anyone touch on one key point: There was no reason for any intelligent person to watch the Republican convention. We know who they are, what they want, what the real issues are and how we have to vote. The convention had NO CHANCE of changing any of that. So why watch it, at least live? I read the transcripts of those speeches in a few minutes. I disagreed with almost everything, but I wasn't exposed to their theatrics, so it didn't effect me as much emotionally.

The reason people watched is that we've been indoctrinated into believing that we have to "participate" in the 24-7 news cycle. However, a thoughtful analysis shows that this only serves the corporations broadcasting and the loudest, shrillest, bitchiest of the "contestants". Don't be a sucker. Turn off your TV and DO something. That's CT's advice, but he failed to connect it to the real underlying problem. Watching the TV is not participating in democracy. Posting on Salon isn't much better, because I'm pretty sure 90% of Salon readers will be voting Democratic. (Those that aren't... why are you here?) Others have described, in great detail, many good things to do to oppose the Republicans... dedicate part of your TV viewing time to those activities.

Hiding out in Korea? Seemed like a good idea, until they elected their own neo-con president who is trying to equal Bush's incompetence. Many were the nights I came home to find the wife furious about the latest political atrocity. Hmm...this is not an American problem; it's a problem with modern hyper-commercialized life.

Some people have managed to beat addiction through self-hatred. (It worked for me and smoking...) Maybe you should try that. I don't mean permanent self-hatred, but the hatred of your own weakness, coupled with the realization that the addictive substance is your enemy.

Define your own internal reality, just don't tell anyone else about it. (They won't understand.) N is bad. She made you love her when you were incapable of love, and now she holds that against you. Learn to resent her for that. Hate yourself for not caring that she is bad for you and that she still likes to tweak you occasionally. Focus on the helpless idiocy of the situation that this evil bitch has put you in. Realize that the only way out is to erase her from your life, and every time you hear that siren calling to you, remember what is down that trail: self-hatred and loneliness. It doesn't have to be real; the only person that has to believe it is you.

Also, if you're now out of grad school, it probably is about time to learn to keep your dick in your pants, anyway. Put away childish things. Grow up. You have the capacity to be a bad person, but you don't have to remain one. Recognize that clinging to N is refusing to accept the final lesson of adulthood: in real life, there is no reset button. Stop wasting your time.

She gets my vote for best response, and best imagery.

But you are about to get kicked off the island. Institutional Memory? Yes.

Justifiably Vindictive Faculty? Check.

The Bloom Coming Off the Rose? Next.

You? Easy message to be sent to your director buddy.

References? Just your director buddy.

Job Market? Looking bleak.

Near Future? Retail. Fast Food.

Long-Term? Depends. Are you going to grow up?

"Bros before Hoes."

That's Brothers (his jerk friends) are more important than Whores (you).

If you have any problem with any part of that equation (like, for example, the part about you being a whore) then you should get out, immediately, without drama (or even conversation).

Some people might tell you that you should give him an ultimatum, you know, tell him, "The next time you let one of your friends disrespect me, it's over." But we know the truth. You would just let him talk you out of it, because at THAT moment, you'd be feeling hurt and needy, so you'd be unable to turn away from any comfort, however shallow it may be. That seems to be who you are.

So, if you are willing to stay with this guy, why don't you ask him if he wants to watch you do some of his friends the next time he gets together with them?

Yes, it is that harsh, clear and simple.

If you go out and try to tell young white men that their culture is sick and that they should abandon it, you will fail. I mean, whose culture isn't sick? White women's? Please! If you want to improve the situation, you have to focus attention on the positive aspects of masculinity, but many people don't want to do that because it seems to threaten feminist ideals. The provider and protector role model is incredibly powerful within white male culture, but it has fallen into disfavor because the idea that such a dominant male is desirable contradicts feminist orthodoxy. This strikes me as a perfect example of the law of unintended consequences. Feminism took away the positive aspects of masculinity when it freed women from their subservient roles; men have since struggled to find a valid new positive image (See Fight Club.)

Personally, I struggle with this conflict between my feminist political beliefs and my emotional needs (as defined by white male culture.) I've been fortunate to find a woman who believes in legal equality, and, past that, balance. Since I'm happy to provide and protect while she nurtures, I guess I'm a pig. Oh, well.